No one cares anyway

I'm sitting here a tad bit numb. Sounds weird huh, well not as weird as it feels. I've begun to really dislike some of the things I've done. No thats not right. Hell I feel abandoned by people I've met on the internet. There I've said the most ridiculous thing I could. And meant it.
Let's start from the begining and see if I can keep it up, so to speak. In 2000 I was 2 years sober and back at home. Got my first computer, a little piece of crap, IBM knock off I think. The internet was big and intimidating. Hell I didn't even have a cell phone yet. After lot of bullshit I found a chatroom, which has since closed some years ago. It was called about.com, I went to the humor room.
Then main 2 people I seemed to bond with were women. Both a little older than me and different from eachother, and friends. One lived in North Carolina and the other lived in Illinois. Good people, lots of fun, great chat. I mean this was when chat was actually conversation. The room had a good group of regulars.
I could go into the minutae of stuff that happened in there but I'll pass at the moment. I don't want to bore myself. I met another friend from that room. An alcoholic, no reformed, who I actually thought was someone else I'd chatted with. Long story.
A lot went down. At this time I'd become involved in an online game. It was a lot of fun, and took place of something that was missing in my life, fun. The chatroom had begun to be cliquy and the residents depressing. There was a snobbery practiced there, so I avoided it a lot.
Singularly, the lowest point in my life. I met and fell in love with a woman IKNEW to be no good. I was tortured for 3 years.