Tuesday

     Came home from work.  Made my usual call.  She didn't need any extras, but she needed a favor.  Could I do some laundry for her?  I said of course.

     Got there as she picked at dinner.  She showed me where the clothes were and the detergent.  I asked if she wanted to smoke first and she declined.  Again not unusual when she was not feeling well.

     I put here laundry in and returned.  Told her how much time we had.  She told me I'd have to stay there when it dried.  That's how stuff disappeared.  Hell stuff always disappeared there.

     Not much talking she was tired and lay down.  I reminded her to put on her cpap machine if was going to sleep.  I went to dry the clothes and wait.

     A dinky little laundry room.  A door on either side.  There was an inmate I'd seen around in the hallway.  Waiting for his sandwiches.  You could opt for them instead of the meal if it wasn't to your liking.  He always went for the sandwiches.

     I would find out at some point after my sisters death that the place had stopped that as well.  It was important.  Many a night my sister got that instead of the inedible crud fed there.  

     We talked off and on.  I tried not to engage to much.  One time I was very uncomfortable with one guy I spoke to near the nurses desk.

     Big guy, both in height and weight.  He would wander around and pick off the food trays.  Usually from the ones that were removed from the rooms.  It was gross.

     Clothes dried I returned.  She was up but out of it.  Got her the ice we always got.  Asked if she wanted to go out for a ride.  I always did.  She declined and said she was tired.

      I got the ice.  Put her clothes away and told her to put her mask on.  She bid me a good night and that was that.  I don't remember if there was a good night call that night.

     About 2 in the morn or somewhere near then the phone rang in my house.

Sunday and Monday.

     All I can clearly remember is that I had come home early from the lounge.  Bro in law slightly incensed.  

"She wants Chinese food.  I don't have the money for it.  Do you?"

     I smiled thinking coldly that he'd bankrupted me.  But I'd a plan in mind.  Told him not to worry about it.

     I had bought a meatloaf mix that morning.  It was a good meal and meant leftovers.  I called my sister and asked if I what she wanted when I came up.

"Chinese food?"  she asked warily

"Oh.  I thought I'd bring up some meatloaf with mashed potatoes."  I said cavalierly.  There was silence.  She loved both my meatloaf and always loved mashed potatoes.

"I can hear the smile.  Guess I'll get cooking.  It's why I came home early and called."

     She thanked me profusely.  Said she felt like she had a small bug again.  Probably better off not having Chinese food.I made the dinner and packed it and went up for a visit.  She loved the stuff and asked if I'd leave the container of potatoes.  She'd get someone to heat them for her later.  A lie.  I knew my sister.  She'd eat them cold.  She loved mashed potatoes.

     Crisis avoided.  I came home and ate my dinner.  Went to bed.  

Monday.

     No call from her.  The usual when she wasn't feeling well.  I cooked dinner.  Brother in law came back a little early.  Said she wasn't feeling to well and told him to leave.

     Called for the usual good night call.  I can't remember if she answered or not.

Furthermore

     It was somewhere in October I think.  When that tightrope walker did his stunt in Las Vegas that year.  Can I have a more vague reference?  Probably.  Had my sister out and about in the facility.  We'd passed by her friend who seemed to be having a stern conversation with her boyfriend.  On the way back we stopped by John's room.  He had his usual hanger on's present.  He invited us for some Chinese food.

     Seemed he always had money for take out and to watch the tightrope walk.  That was my sister, a long time Chinese food addict, had her first taste of Moo Goo Gai Pan.  I think it was that of the Moo Shoo something.  She loved it.

     Her friend rolled by. I took my sister out of the room.  Seems she'd just broken up with her boyfriend.  My sister offered to talk to her.  Or they could  watch T.V. in her room.  She opted to just stay alone for awhile.

     My sister told me to  go.  It was after 8 as I recalled.  I did the ice thing and bid her a good night.

    Oh the timing is so dizzying right now.  Apparently that occurred Saturday November 2nd.  We are very near the end kiddies.

September passed

    September passed blissfully enough I suppose.  Got the book and enjoyed the Hell out of it.  The routine was set.  I was financially ruined.  The electric company alone had wanted about 2 grand now.  I was in trouble.  

     I'd lost my Amex in August.  The cable bill and then car inspection.  I'd been making paltry payments.  They called me.  It was actually very pleasant.

     They would work with me.  Put me on a monthly payment plan.  I gave them the digits so they could just take it out of my account.  I get it back in August.  I was suspended.  More than likely when it was paid back I could get reinstated.  Thus I learned to live without a credit card.

     Sister as I said would have little bouts of not feeling well.  Her spirits were up and down.  Did the best we could by her.

     Home life was terribly stressful.  I was down to nothing in savings.  Being harassed by gas and electric.  I went no where and did nothing.  It was actually only by the kindness of my friend at the lounge that let me smoke there.  He would often give me some of his own cigars and that was mana.  The lounge was the only refuge I had left.

     In October 2 more departments ended and many moved down to the new headquarters.  So just sadness at work.  Nothing was getting accomplished on the home front.

     At the facility they had an Oktoberfest of sorts.  In the further of the 2 big rooms.  Nearest the smoking area.  It was cheesy as Hell.  But I think some liked it.  They handed out half cups of fake beer.  and everyone got a piece of pretzel.  My sister enjoyed it somewhat.  I took her back to her room and said good night.

October and the Library forgets me

     One of my other joys at the time was watching Burns and Allen from 5 A.M. until 6.  I would make sure everything was accomplished by 5.  I was still leaving around 6:30, they hadn't taken away the gym yet.  It was fun.  They were playing the show in order.  I loved it.  I remembered there was a book written by George called Gracie: A Love Story.  I wanted it.  I had a gift card from Barnes and Noble.  So on a night when I had time to myself I went to it.

     Long story short it was out of print and they couldn't get it for me.  I was bummed.  Was the 1 thing I really wanted.

     The next night I saw my sister.  She was in her usual bleh mood.  Made damned sure we got to her smoking time.  I got her ice and left.  The library was on my way home.  They'd refurbished it a while back.  I decided to go in.

     We'd had a disagreement.  
"Wait you had a disagreement with a library.  How does that happen?"

"Shush up and I'll tell you.

     Long ago when I had another job I ate up books on tape.  I lost one.  I offered to replace it they told me to wait.  Time passed I went back and said I'd just pay the fine.  It was at the time $60, not unusual.  I said fine.  The next day when I went to pay the fine it had jumped to $300 some odd dollars.  No way in Hell I said and didn't go back for over a decade.

     So I went in.  I approached the counter warily.  As one does a wild animal.  I explained I needed a card.  That I had a disagreement and wanted to see if it cleared up.  Well.....

     I was no longer in the system at all!  I got a brand new spanking card.  I could now read books for  F-R-E-E!!!!

     They didn't have the book.  But offered to get one from another branch.  I asked how much that would cost.  F-R-E-E!

     On the way out I snagged a book entitled "Tanks and Trenches" A very good book, with pictures, about world war 1.  I recommend it. 

Damn some missed me

     9 views?  Damn now I almost feel bad.  On with the show.

     I left you the other day going on about an argument that I had once or twice with the B.I.L.  Now not at all sure that I covered it.  So here is the challenge.  If someone asks I'll post it.  Otherwise I'll just continue with the ramblings.

     September passed easily enough.  Did the encouraging of both parties.  Never missed a day.  Although it was irritating to constantly make sure we never missed the smoking time.  And of course I noticed more than once she'd take 2 and not smoke 1 and take it with her.  According to Eileen she had her secret spot.  What could I actually do about it?

     Sadly the game nights and karaoke no longer garnered any interest with her. The games sort of petered out with the last visit.  A lot of the people that were there we no longer there.  Karaoke was always the same.

     But it went along.  We'd always stop by and visit her people.  It was kind of nice.  And a lot of times I'd come by and some would be visiting her.

     There was one pronounced melt down.  Apparently John had catered breakfast and hadn't included her.  I sat in the chandelier room, I brought up a roll and doughnut, and did my best.  I would be the only time there was a slight rift.  I must say the crew was tight.  Whenever they'd order dinner in they always chipped in.

     At one point they started to clean and did some kind of improvements.  Short lived.  Apparently they had an inspection coming up.  A couple little bugs here and there.  Again no real concerns. 

     I'd bring food from home when I could.  Unfortunately money was extremely tight. Besides the usual extras she still wanted from Sunday shopping.  There was always the snacks and soda before I came up.  It sucked.

     She had considered starting the next round of chemo while she was there.

Who me?

     Well hello there.  Still here somewhat.  Let's pick up

     I've given you the lay of the land and how things worked.  Honestly I cannot say much more than that.  Not that I can't but that there is no more to detail.  So we'll just start to the point of getting to the end.  Damn, remember when this was a blog about me?  I'd even get pissed that their bullshit bled in here.  And now I'm coming to the conclusion of my sisters' life.  

     There were as in all places like this, little viruses.  They edge in now and again.  Are cleared up and such.  She had a few bouts.  Nothing overly serious.  And rarely missed smoking sessions.

     Now I know I've given fake names to her friends.  But now I say screw that.  I'm not going back to read and such.  Sorry.

     The kid John.  Good nature d, a tad wild.  He'd brought an interesting atmosphere.  I remember one time she called when they were outside racing his little remote controlled car around.  She'd had a ball.  Cosmo was a work also.  Nice guy.  Just weird.  I thought he was in his late 50's or 60's.  Nope his 40's.  He had some addiction issues.  I never quite figured out why he was there.

    The guy Michael in his wheel chair.  There's been an accident and he died.  Said he met Jesus and was told he could go back but he would have to learn to walk again.  Personally I would have checked my ticket right there.  "What I'm in?!"  He had good family that would take him out time and again.  Friendly but not to friendly if you understand.  I've already covered Eileen, I know I named her Ellen but to Hell with the name changes I told you.  Was happy Patti and her got so close.

     There were other secondary characters.  But I'll not go into that.  Food really sucked there.  The place was going to Hell.  A lot of times she couldn't eat the dinner and would ask for the sandwich alternative.

     I told her at one point that the lawyer I'd gotten for her Social Security dropped her.  All because she didn't sign something.  Oh well.

     I was also very close to bankruptcy at this point.  Since the beginning of the year my credit score dropped over 100 points.  Yup.  B.I.L. stopped giving house money declaring that he had nothing to give.

     I can't blame him entirely, wasn't like he was spending it on anything other than beer and smokes.  And the added expense of the daily stuff brought up to my sister.  Just on my days it added up to $50 a week.

     I ran completely out of cigars so my stress was through the roof.  Work was wild.  Very hard to see people going.  And I was incredibly busy.  It sucked.  I had no refuge at all.

     I came very close to pawning my dad's ring.  I'm sure it is worth something.  I didn't.  Instead I got cheated, my opinion, on some coins at a dealer.

     I think it was late August or early September when I approached the B.I.L. about having to send the bills to his trustees.  I was told we'd have to talk about that.