Alone at Christmas

Hey Merry Christmas,
Not Happy Holidays but yes Merry Christmas! Sitting here in my bathroom plotting my day.

This is not a boo hoo hoo feel bad for me post sorry. No this is just a statement with an explanation. One that I can make here and not elsewhere.

I had a great childhood. Lots of family and such. No shortage. But we must make a distinction here. My fathers family was small. My mothers was large. For whatever reason we stuck with my fathers line.

Now I must not loose my train of thought here. They were fun, but....what is the word I'm lacking. In any case. We generally spent every holiday going to them. Can you spot the thing here. Then they moved 2 and a half hours away. And still every holiday was spent with them.

Again, I enjoyed them, great memories. But even I saw the flaws that would eventually happen. It was a one way street. People die and moves happen. Spent 2 solid years travelling to Florida during this season to see them. Anyone down South or who knows about THE GATOR BOWL, will tell you it's a long drive.

The main patriarch of that branch died. Things loosened up. I on the one hand was grateful for the memories. I was also grateful for the not having to travel anymore as well.

My sister never quite got that far. Always longing for the way things used to be. Please let me reiterate. It is always difficult when talking about family, outsiders don't see all. We always travelled to them. They rarely travelled to us.

Holiday season here is very stressful. Sis wanting to have things back to the way they were. Have had a few holidays ruined by the bratish offspring of that family promising holiday time. Her hopes are always dashed, better things pop up.

My mothers family you may be wondering? Well after decades of not going, what was to be expected. They are always adding to their family and celebrating. I am the stranger at the door to them. I don't blame them. Besides, my sister is having a bitterness with one of my Aunts. That's for another time.

My sister eventually married. A nice tight family that always gets together. It can be a chore to get her to go. Here is a group that likes her and wants to embrace her. And yet she still wants the old family.

Well today out the door she went with hubby to their family. I've been to far to many of their functions in her place. And they aren't anymore my type then I am theirs.

I apologize, if anyone does read this anymore. But phone rang and I've lost train of thought. So I'm getting dressed and going out.