Christmas.

     Well I'm up for the day at 2 in the morning.  Serves me right for following my hibernation instinct.  Went to bed at about 6:30 Sunday night.  It was just so damned cozy.

     Correction.  In the last entry where I said I had the pie in the fridge.  I obviously did mean the freezer.

     Christmas day.  Having survived the dinner from the previous night. Cooked up a small roast, some mashed potatoes reheated on the stove top, candied carrots.  And some instant biscuits.  As I've already mentioned, the dessert was wonderful. 

     We set up some nice wooden snack trays in their bedroom for the dinner.  Don't ask.  Was kind of cool.  Brother in law wasn't terribly drunk, if he drank at all.  We'd have breakfast this way too.

     Pancakes.  Apparently this was a tradition of my brother in laws.  Used to make them from scratch, but that became a hassle.  So we just use Bisquick now. Fried up some bacon too.  All and all a nice treat.

     There were no gifts this year.  Save that we do have a house to live in.  Christmas isn't supposed to be about gifts anyway.  I think we had a good one.

     We actually had a white Christmas.  It had snowed the perfect amount.  Just some on the cars and lawns and it was gone by night.  I went out for a ride in the early afternoon.  Sick of all the togetherness and wanting a smoke.  

     I just drove.  It was kind of neat.  I was surprised to see some other people out too.  For the most part it was quiet.  Not much traffic of any kind.  A few places open here and there.  Just pleasantly drove around.  It's one of the things I do enjoy.

     Got home.  Lunch.  Dinner was.  Sister had chemo sickness.  Think we had some chicken breast I bought.  For the life of me I don't remember the sides.  Finished off the cannoli  cake.  Like I said the perfect size.  And that was it.  

-later

Saturday Morning...

     Top of the morning.  Just had my juice, now I'm onto my coffee.  Both are very good.  Actually just rinsed out the juice cup and poured the coffee in.  First time I've done this, that I can remember that is.  Okay where to begin.

     Okay I'm not big on apologizing or saying life got to real.  I'll just say I haven't had that much enthusiasm for the blog last few days.  A big part of it is the work schedule.  I'm working about 11 hours each day, not complaining.  It just chokes off the creative side of my brain a tad.

     Yes I consider this blog to be a creative outlet.  Anyway.  Sister wound up having chemotherapy just before the holiday.  Not a great combo.  Apparently she'd had a panic attack and cancelled it the Friday before.  No comment from me.  Have not walked an inch in those shoes.

     It had been a shakey weekend. Hammering out the menu.  It changed a few times. Got reamed out for how I put it on the list.  My handwritting sucks, however, I knew everything I wrote. No credit was given.  Didn't get upset, it was all due to the chemo sickness.

     Wow the entire previous paragraph is underlined in red, hope you can read it. 

     Dessert became a huge issue.  We have an apple pie in the fridge, from the place I get the Thanksgiving pies from.  Well this is the one we save for Christmas.  I don't recall the issue.  Wound up getting a small cannoli cake, and it was delicious, from a local place.  It was also the perfect size for us.

     Like a lot of holidays here one of the appliances decided to die.  This time it was the microwave.  Hilarious I think. So I'm off to get one today.  Wish me luck.

     I'll cover Christmas day tomorrow.  It's not that entertaining but fills the void I reckon.

-later

Friday Night

     It had been a rather long day.  The work weeks end had at last arrived.  Nearly got killed leaving my parking lot at work.  My fault to an extent.  Car was trying to make a left.  No traffic, made my right and all of a sudden there was a vehicle right behind me.  Mind you I didn't hear her brake hard. 

     Think she'd just made the lane was getting to ramming speed.  I say she because I got the obligatory yell out the window of asshole.  Did the usual raising my hand in apology and made a quick right.  Decided on a different route home.

     Got home safe enough.  Brother in law just woke from his first drunken stupor.  Apparently they bumped my sisters chemo to Monday, that would be today.  She was to sick to get to the G.P. to have blood work.  I was just unamused.

     6:30.  Spoke to my sister.  Brother in law came in with his drunk sleepy voice.  What are we doing for dinner.  She claimed not to be hungry, I said I'm going to the bathroom.  I just didn't feel like dealing.  Even I need a night off.  Sat in my chair in my room.  Enter the brother in law.

     I been trying to she what she wants for dinner all day.  She doesn't know.  I opened my eyes at that point.  I was tired.  Told him the fridge had food.  Meatloaf, pasta.  He went in to their bedroom, made the report and came out stomping his feet.

     I went to the kitchen, where he was doing his mumbling to his drunk assed self.  Said he didn't want to discuss it.  I pointed out that I was only there to finish my salmon salad for dinner.  I did.  He made a grilled cheese and I decided to go out.

     It was a comfortable enough night.  And it beat sitting around the house.  Sister called me in, told her I was going.  She said she didn't know what to have for dinner.  In the end.  I heated her some pasta and the last of the meatloaf.  Rocket science huh?

     It was to late to just dig up plans.  40's are often not like the 20's.  Most everyone had plans.  So I grabbed a smoke and determined my options. Got gas.  Passed a few bars.  As someone who just doesn't drink anymore, there is no reason to hang in bars for me.

     Mind you, if I could I would.  I always enjoyed the bar scene.  Oh the tales I could tell.  As could a lot of you I imagine.  And if you found the right bar, it could be a very comfortable fit.  A couple of pints and it was just allright.  

     I no longer had the option.  More sad was I no longer had the desire.

     Music.  That was what I wanted.  Some nice blues or something.  As I drove around that was when I realized just how out of touch with the music scene I'd become.  I found none. Promised myself I'd do better next week.

     So I drove and had a nice smoke.  Got home about 10.  Sister was full of interrogating questions. She hates when I go out.  

     My brother in law too.  To and extent.  Means he has to be on call for her.

     As I said they both live to be home. Only leaving to work, now that's just my brother in law.  My sister is imprisoned, of her own making and now by the cancer.  I try to keep a good spirit for them.

     But sometimes.  Just sometimes.  I need to get out for myself.  I've even given thought to next Friday.  I know of a place that has a piano player.  See what happens.

-later

In restless dreams...

     Morning.  It's 4 A.M. Sunday already.  For once I shall say it.  The weekend was to short.  I'll actually be glad of the break Christmas day.  Figured it's early enough.  One of those times when I feel rested.  If I go back I risk losing it all.

     That has always been the maddening part of my sleep cycle.  Not being able to just enjoy extra hours.  It's so debilitating to wake with a massive headache.  Plus I want to shower and hit mass today.  It's 4:15 and I'm actually contemplating it.  Just leave in the middle of this and come back........ 

     Okay wound up sleeping in until 6:45.  And I actually woke up pretty well too.  Showered.  I am not attending mass.  Just really don't want to go and possibly drag home a bug.  I did it when my mom got cancer and had chemo too.  Compromised immune systems and such.  Anyway to the dream.

     I had this one the day after the 'what dreams may come' one.  Not as detailed or even interesting.  I can't even say that is stuck with me as long, but I've mentioned it a few times.  So here it is.

     Starts in a hospital room.  It is at the far end of a dead end hallway.  Not in a square form like a hospital.  More like an apartment building.  I was there and there was a roomate.  I was in pretty good spirits.  Nurses were very good.  That is......until the weekend.

     Not sure why but the weekends always bother me in a hospital.  Well this wasn't to different.  At some point 1 nurse came in.  Not sure if I was being discharged or diagnosed.  She lay down on her right side facing away from me.  Looking out the windows.  I'm unsure of the view or if there was anyone else there.  She gave me a 2 word sentence.  I was gone.

     Next scene, this is a typical scattered dream.  I was in a crowded lobby.  Unsure if it was the hospital or somewhere else.  Someone, a guy mentioned the same diagnosis.  The words were english, they made no sense.  I did not retain them upon waking up,  The dream dissapated like most.  It was then that I decided to go back and confront the nurse and tell her off.  She was still in the same position.  And that was that.

Hope it was worth it.  Have a Sunday.  Really could have chucked Friday night in this entry.  But shopping list must be put together.

-later

Guess I could put an entry together.

     Morning.  Towards the bottom of the coffee mug here.  Played a few games of Adventure.  I still enjoy it.  Not as much as when I was 10 I must say.  I'm good for a few games in a row, then I shut it off.  At 10, I think I could play it for an hour straight.    

     Been a tiring week.  Overtime every day.  No.  I am most certainly not complaining.  Just reporting.  Breakfast time.  Thinking on 2 scrambled eggs with red bell pepper and a couple of diced asparagus.  But let us first finish the entry.

     Okay things maybe I should note for myself.  Oh great you get to see them.  I recalled the second dream from earlier in the week.  Not as interesting to me nor detailed.  Christmas spirit.  Friday night.  Okay that covers the title of the posts for this week.  Maybe I'll come up with something else en route.

-later

What dreams may come.

     What dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil.  Must give us pause.

     The line from the great soliloquy from Hamlet.  Well the second line is out of place, but it's my blog I reckon.  

     Have had some dreams the past 2 days.  They've stuck with me and thought about recording them here.  Nothing more than dreams with chaos.

     The one Monday morning.  Must've been after 3:30.  Started easily enough.  I was at the loading dock with the current crew.  Went inside to talk to the kid that was there normally.  And a courier arrived and I saw no point in remaining.  Only this was the dock of another place I worked.  It was snowing, my car was covered.  It's not the one I'm driving now.  At some point it was time to leave.  The building was huge and a lot of cars.  I made it out.  Had a brief drive to see my friend.  I'm not sure what he and I spoke of but it was more fluff than anything.  Perhaps a remnant of some old thing.  I was driving again, over known roads.  It was midday, I knew the roads and they were snow covered.

     Must point out that this is one of the dreams where I know almost all the places where I am.  The places are however not connected this way in reality.  It would be like getting out of bed and the next room would be some place else.

     I was on a straight road, no snow.  The storm had a visible break.  The sky had dark clouds but there was a tear of blue sky in it.  Then I hit a hill that does not exist on the road and the car did a dukes of hazard jump.  Upon landing it was back on snow covered roadway and a plowed into a snowy pile embankment.  I made a left onto one road.  Gets dicey.  I may have damaged property.Not sure why but I had to pay.  So I went to the bank.

     Now this bank was  new place for me.  It had 3 teller stations, 2 were occupied.  He reminded me of an old high school teacher.  Brown hair, 70's mustache.  There was 1 man to the right sitting at a desk.  A bank officer I presume.  He told me I had to do something with 3 eggs.  This didn't surprise me.  I don't know if I had the eggs or got them from one of the tellers.  The woman had a bit of a fit when I reached across for a bowl.  I apologized and went to the 3rd position where the was no one and got a bowl.

     At the little station opposite, where there used to be deposit tickets in the old days, I stood and cracked the first egg.  No problem.  The second was a little messy.  The third landed on the floor.  No it didn't break.  It landed more like a hard boiled egg.  

     It landed at the feet of the manager who asked me what the Hell I was doing.  I explained the ritual in what could have been an irritating manner. I told her I spoke to the guy who told me I had to break 3 eggs into the bowl.  He was sitting there but he was sitting there now.  He had changed seats.  He had moved to the right, there was door in the middle of where he was sitting and where he was previously.  And now there was a white piece of paper on the wall with his name.  And I then asked the manager if I'd made myself clear.  She said yes but indicated that I did so in a very irritating manner. 

     That was when I unfortunately got woken up.  In fact my first words were that I wanted to finish this conversation.  Which of course I couldn't.

     I even went so far as to make a recording of this dream later in the day.  It stuck with me.  Alas in the writing of this entry, I wish I'd done so with this mornings.  It is gone now.

     Hopefully this has been an entertaining entry in my dream scape.  If not, oh well.

-later

Wednesday

     I did say I'd post about it.  So what the Hell, it's only 4:16 Sunday morning.  Maybe I can go back to bed for a few after this.

     I was assigned to pick my sister up from the hospital.  She was happy to be coming home.  My plan was to get her settled and come back to work.  4 hours off, 4 hours or so on.  Oh the best laid plan of mice and men.

     It was 10 when I left.  Told my manager I'd call to let him know the situation.  The last time I picked her up she threw a hissy fit that I planned to go back to work.  This time she was far more reasonable.

     It was a cold wintry day.  Low 30's I believe.  Could not get a grand parking spot.  It was a good 5 min walk to the hospital.  Near a shuttle bus stop that never ran.  Got upstairs, surprised my sister.  She rang for the nurse who'd just been there.

     If you have any experience with being discharged from a hospital you know what happens next.  It takes an hour or two.  I'd say I was there by 10:30.  The papers were signed by 11:40.  I was walking back to get the car while they wheeled her downstairs.

     She asked if I could drop off a few prescriptions.  Also asked about lunch.  I told her about the options in the house.  Which seemed good to me.  She passed.

     Got her home, went to get Wendy's Portabello Mushroom Bacon Melt.  Why on earth Wendy's, the only fast food chain I ever used to eat, did that is beyond me.  On and they changed the role too.  Seems every burger has bacon on it now.  UGH!  To make matters worse, after every order they offer a 4 piece nugget for .99.  I mean really?  I just ordered 2 sandwiches and a small fry.  Do I need to eat more crap.

     She loved her burger.  I was very unimpressed.  It was a mistake on my part to have it, nutritionally I mean.  Sodium content was 1,450.  I'm on a plan for 2,000 daily.  So yeah stupid on my part.  Anyway.

     Just got her set up on her cpap machine. It's a machine for sleep apnea and such.  Now my brother in law had some issue with filling the tank over the weekend.  I know my sister had some previous issues with it.  So of course you know.  It went on, no lights, after 15 seconds, beeped continuously.  

     I went straight for the number on the machine.  I'm not a total idiot.  It was 1 in the afternoon.  Maybe I could get some action on it today.  I did.  Woman told me they'd have someone out there, just couldn't give me a time.  So my day was shot.  Called my manager and explained the situation.

     Did some stuff, made meatloaf.  Kid came in around 5.  Now they take their oxygen shit seriously.  24 hours service.  CHS is good stuff.  I remember when we lost power during Irene back in '11.  Dude showed up at midnight, but he showed with a couple of oxygen tanks.

     Machine got replaced and all was well in the world.  That's it.  No really.

-later

treatsie draft

     Spent a good deal of time going over my expenses.  Was a killer month.  Luckily there's no one really to buy Christmas gifts for.  Because I am broke until the 31 of December.

     Well I will have $100 to live on until then.  I can often see why most people panic over money.  I admit that my credit card bill was sky high for me.  That however is not an ordinary occurrence.  Just a lot of bills.  There was an additional Dr. bill, well office visit.  Haven't gotten to the actual bill yet.  Or should I say haven't received it.  

     House bills?  Well I put my deposit in.  And an additional $20 for the food shopping.  Brother in law says he'll put his house money in once his trust check clears.  Mind you he got paid last week.  So we're a bit tight there just now.  This Friday he owes 2 payments.  We are far beyond the point where I can just chuck in extra.  As I type I need $400 some odd dollars of the next check just to pay bills for me.  Tis life.

     I can see why as an adult people feel time flies faster.  I think it is summarily tied to pay.  You have to wait and plan.  So that leads us to the question: What if one has no job?  I think that is to simple of a question.  It must be deeper than that.  Because a lot of people do not have jobs and time flies for them.

     I think it has to do with the sheer feeling of being responsible.  You then have to think and budget.  In a society where we have become very 'Got To Have It Now' we have lost our ways.  No one plans anymore.  Must have instant gratification instead of delayed gratification.

     I've had this conversation often times before.  I usually try to boil it down to the difference between want and need:  For example

I want an alfa romeo spider.
Versus
I need a car.

     The need is never as sexy as the want.  That is a key component.  Delayed gratification.  To few people practice it anymore.  And this current crop of new generation don't understand it either.  Sad but true.

     It is part and parcel to the age we currently live in.  I remember the time before all this.  Before debit cards; atms; cell phones; internet; color t.v.  These are as archaic a concept to this generation as the horse and buggy were to me.    

     Some how I must pull a Christmas dinner out of myself.  I must make merry.  And oddly enough, I can and will.

     I'm sitting in my cold house.  Sweats and flannel with a bathrobe atop.  And I'm comfortable.  Yes the wolf is restlessly still on the door stoop.  I'm hoping maybe he'll eat my brother in laws brother and sister.  Just a poor joke.  

     I priced a play station 3 today.  Pretty reasonable I thought.  Was under $300.  Beats the original price.  But that was before I did the bills spread sheet.  Now I'm glad I didn't jump on that.  Again difference between want and need.  I want one badly, I miss my video games.  I need to have money to pay bills.  One is more detrimental than the other.  The need should usually win.

     Think I'll post this today also.  What the Hell.  Hope you are staying warmer than I.

-later.

Titular title space.

     We may be getting 4 inches of snow.  While we've had worse in the past years, it will be bad for here.  Still not used to it.  It's 7:32 in the morning, I've just recommended that we have a simple pasta dinner tonight.  Unsure of how the road travel will be.

     Damn I just realized.  Never sent a text  back to my best friend.  Invited me to a holiday get together tomorrow.  I'll just text back if the weather lets me get there.  Will be hard going with the shoveling.  

      It's been interesting.  Got sister home Wednesday.  Actually there's an entry that I can put down here.  Okay you'll get two entries this week.  Today's and when my sister came home.

     The point there is that she seems changed a bit.  Not as much more positive, but a little more motivated.  I think and hope.  Back from the brink such as it is.

     So that's where I'm at.  If you don't see a post tomorrow, Sunday, I don't have power.  Hope things are good in your corners of the world.

-later

Virtual space waste.

     The title is a tad misleading. I just felt the flow of it.  I was having a discussion about 'virtual memory' recently.

     My last computer, a gateway, would always give me warnings about being low on 'virtual memory'.  I would counter the box with the idea of; "It's virtual, meaning it doesn't really exist, therefore should be unlimited."
     
     To no avail however.  Wouldn't imagination fall into the virtual category?  Does that mean ones imagination is limited?  I chose the second definition offered by Websters on line.
 
generated by computer: simulated by a computer for reasons of economics, convenience, or performance.

     That clears what up exactly?  Not to sure.  Okay, generated by computer.  That makes sense.  Simulated by?  Well If it is simulated...am I just to dense to think this through at 4:20 in the morning.

     If it is generated or simulated then it is not an actual thing.  The hard drive is a thing.  Something tangible.  The memory chips inside the computer are tangible.  This virtual memory seems intangible.  Thus how can it be limited?

     Our imaginations could never be considered limited.  They are by very definition intangible.  Ahh well.  That's the thought that has kept with me to post an entry.

     Should be bringing home my sister today.  She was upset that no one called her at the hospital last night.  Understandable.  Usually my brother in laws job.  Oh well.  So a half day at work for me.  

     Going to make some meatloaf for dinner, exciting no?  Alright I'm out. 

-later

    

Another week dawns. Well it's not dawn quite yet.

     I've been up since 3.  It happens.  So I showered and used my new hair brush.  Yeah big whoop.  Actually I did think it was.  It's even purple.  Was unsure about it at first.  I mean come on $6 for a hair brush what's going on.  Oh well.

     Got a dusting of snow last night.  Roads will be icy.  First time for me driving in this in this car.  Have a co-worker out today.  The ugly job from last week is no doubt finished.  Left my manager dealing with it on Friday.  

     Breakfast; leave early; a good 40 min on the treadmill; then I'll be ready for work.  Have some of the dinner from Saturday left over for lunch.  And this is after I had some for lunch yesterday from shopping.  Was not as impressed with the chicken kebab as I was everything else.  

     Did some baked fries and grabbed the last porter house steak in the fridge.  Since my sister wasn't home and it was just me and the brother in law.  He enjoyed it.   I can never stress that when there is a good sale and you can afford it.  Buy it!  Freezer wrap it!

     Sister is thinking she'll be released today or tomorrow, or Wednesday.  So I'll be on call.  It's easier for me.  This way it leaves my brother in law to take off and handle the chemo appointment.  With luck that starts back up on Friday.  We shall see.

     Rest of Sunday was alright.  Shopping, lunch, lounge.  Left at half time on the 1 O'clock game, told sister I'd come up and visit.  She was surprised.  Actually to an extent I was too.  When I got home brother in law was finishing emptying the dishwasher.  So I took care of the sink and the meal.

     He had a few beers, deserved I thought.  For him, he did a shitload this weekend.  Recap, cleaned bathroom, vacuumed, visited sister, food shopping, visited sister, dishwasher.  Trust me.  That's huge for him.  We even talked about sports while I cooked.  Not a terrible time.

     So what does this week hold?  I've no idea.  But it starts at 3 and showered by 3:45.  And as the cold nips at my ankles I'm going to go and get dressed now.  Hope you all have a good one.

-later

Whimsy cont'd

     Looking for purpose for this day.  Nothing was completed yesterday.  Just a complete disorganized mess.  Something that could have and should have been avoided.

     Meandering drives.  Drive 10 miles in one direction, change mind, turn around, then back in the original direction. 2 things I did get accomplished.  Sort of.  Hit Barnes & Nobles book store.  Unfortunately packed.  Kiddies seemed to be holding a concert in the back.  Sounded dreadful but cute to see nonetheless.

     No point in my going for a look.  The pack was thick with parents and family.  That part was nice.  The part that wasn't?  I couldn't get into a groove.  I'm the sort that wanders the books store til the mood strikes.  Then I groove along.

     Often looking at books from authors I don't know.  Examining the bargain tables hoping for a gem.  Seemed to me there was and over abundance of teen stuff.  Wonder if that is where the market lies just now.

     Personally I didn't last long and decided to get gas.  I thought about the rest of the day.  Much had been eaten by traffic alone.  So many people on the road.  Odd.  Oh but this is shopping season I suppose.

     Queried I, what to do with the rest of the day.  Decided to return home for some lunch.  Dinner was a thought as well.  Was going to treat myself to some Halal food, unsure of the spelling there.

     Reasoning that would be costly I ate some of the whole wheat pasta I made for dinner earlier in the week.  Good not great.  Not to old either.  Then I had a thought, the car.  Should I get it washed?

     Spurred by the idea that they might be open I went to the local car wash.  Yup they were open.  Got the usual wash and vacuum.  Must say I am succeeding thus far in keeping it clean and mean.

     Tediously I waited.  Watched it go out for the detailing.  Tires, dash, windows.  It may be just me.  I'm always surprised how clean my windows are afterwards.  I really thing I may stop the occasional cigar in the car. 

     Unfortunately that has become a bit of a habit again.  And I've missed the contrived ashtray once or twice.  Thus I had little debate as to whether or not I should go.

     Vividly dreaming about my dinner I returned home.  Brother in law had been busy.  Cleaned his bathroom and vacuumed, and visited my sister.  He was tired.  He perused the menu and opted for the chicken fingers and fries.

     What did I get?  The combo plate.   Rice, skewer of chicken and beef, gyro meat and something else.  It is a lamb sausage like thing.  It is very good. And dessert I had baklava.  

     Here is where I fail dear reader.  So I see no point in continuing.  I especially though the thread in today's post was much better.

     Dinner was good.  Had and all right night's sleep.  Now it's shopping list time and then shopping.

-later

Whimsy

       As the title suggests I'm having coffee and it is Saturday morning.  Just some thoughts.  Tis a cold day, about 36 now, damp cold to boot.

     Because I spend more time on the weekends trying to think what I want to do.  More time than actually doing it.  Even have given thoughts about it during the week.  Make a note I say to myself, ignoring it more often than not.

     Consider the madness of it.  We all have things to do and yet we often do not get to them.  Why?  Right this moment I am trying to figure what to do.  So far, get a bagel.

    Damned good bagel too.  My favorite.  Whole wheat sunflower with veggie cream cheese.  For dinner?  We'll get there.  Sure the brother in law will have some old standby.  Not much left in the fridge.  Food shopping is tomorrow.

     Expecting myself to go to the laundromat today.  Must wash that North face jacket.  Haven't worn it since for a few years.  Sadly it's been left in a bad state.  I'm hoping washing it will make it good to go again.  It was a treat when I bought it.

     Fairly good bargain too.  And I do endorse them.  When it gets this cold and damp, even I put away the leather bomber in favor of this jacket.  Clothes shopping?  Just don't see it today.

     Going shopping just doesn't appeal right now.  No where near as appealing as sitting in my house drinking coffee.  Did I mention that I'm thinking about getting a lap top.  I know I've expressed my computer woes before.  So I've decided on a lap top.  At some point.

    How?  Not a clue at all.  I really need to dig down and do some research about them.  I know I'm totally computer ignorant.  For some reason technology does not resonate with me.  I tend to stand and flinch like Frankenstein when confronted by villagers torches.

     I will do it however.  Like I said previously, this computers days are numbered.  And I really want to be able to play computer games again.  I miss them.

     Just an idea.  I need to clean a place for the T.V.  No I've not set it up yet.  I'm also still toying with the idea of a new gaming system.  But need always counters want in my book.  The idea of a laptop that I could download some games on.  

     Knowing that.  It will placate me for a bit.  Even my Atari 2600 disk is not quite enough right now.  So maybe that's what I'll do also today.  Price systems, gain knowledge will be included.  

-t.b.c.

The road goes ever, ever on....

     Somewhere in 1980, they did that movie.  That is the song that closes it out.  Somehow I can never find the lyrics online. There are several versions, but that is the one I remember best.

Roads goes ever, ever on.
To the lands beyond the sea.
On a white ship will I sail.
Watching shadows part for me.
Leaving havens gray with rain.
Leaving friends with gentle pains, as they start another day.
Roads I've traveled I must leave. 
For I've turned the final bend.
Weep not empty tears but grieve, as my road comes to an end.
It's so easy not to try.
Just let the world go drifting by. 
If you never say hello.
You don't have to say goodbye.

     That's the song I remember from the movie.  In the books there is something similar.  Great way to end a movie.  As always I get off topic.

     Suffice to say that after the phone call from the brother in law family, there was a blow up.  Had to fill my sister in on everything.  She'd no idea how long they'd been trying to get on the deed as well.  Even told her tonight I think it's the middle child complex.  Where you try to appease everyone.  In the end that always fails.

     Lots was said.  He still feels torn, says they're only looking out for him.  That always goes over like a ton of bricks.  We have no choice but to do this.  It is a disgusting way to be forced into it.  We will find a lawyer.  

     Anyway.  She's back in the hospital.  Yup.  Double pneumonia, blood clots, bladder infection.  She went back in last night.  Spoke with her tonight, doing a bit better.  

     His sister called.  They are sending a check for 3K.  Apparently sister posted on Facebook and their conscience got the better of them.  Although his sister did call and warn him that they were expecting an accounting and such.  

     Money, whats it good for?  No I'm not going to put up the lyrics to that song.  But just wanted to post, get stuff out there.  

-later

Drama.

     My house has been full of the stuff as of late.  Right now it's about money.  Lack therefore it on my brother in law and sisters part.

     Now I'm certain I've filled you in on the trust fund and such.  If not, maybe later.  Long story shortened, he's waiting for another call from his brother and sister tonight.  Spoke to them last night.  Now tonight.  More than he's spoken to them in ages.

     I'm all set to let them be villains, but this time they may have a point.  Firstly and foremost they want him on the deed to the house.  Okay not a huge deal.  The part that bites is they want it done now and it just isn't going to happen now.

     The second part against him is the money they sent him at the beginning of October.  It's gone.  Why?  Damned if I know and damned if he knows.  And since my sister is practically bedridden, it was only him.  And this was a nice sum to boot.  He's just that horrible with money.  And they want an accounting.

     If I get more involved it will definitely be be putting him on a budget.  Worst part was listening last night.  He bleated "I know I fucked up okay.  I'm sorry."  Just don't know what to say anymore.

     And I've no money to lend the sad sacks.  We may be f@#$!$.  Oh well.  I know I'll be fine.  So this is primarily why I haven't been posting.

     Oh and on a side note.  For the second time now, someone tried to hack my account.  Got an email from Google about it.  I assure you I am just not that interesting. 

     Okay I'm done.

-later

Thanksgiving.

     It had been a rough night, I already figured that they would not be accompanying me to the city.  I made the mashed potatoes without saying a word.  She'd been up and down all night, my brother in law with her.

     Once the potatoes were finished I had a word with my brother in law.  I pointed out the turkey breast, cranberry sauce, rolls, he was certain they weren't going either.  So my preparations the night before weren't in vain.

     It was around 11 when the news descended to me.  I understood.  I also told her that I was giving her some time.  Last time she had begun chemo it was a last minute decision to go.  Not to be this time.  Got the pies out of the fridge, same pies I mentioned a few posts back.  I was on my way.

     Cold and blustery day, overcast.  Traffic for the most part wasn't bad.  One snarl really set me back 30 min.  Other than that it was good.  The Brooklyn bridge is becoming one of my favorite bridges.  Unlike the 59th street or Queensborough, or whatever they're calling it now.  The latter can be difficult to find.

     I arrived, parked the car in a pay lot and made my way upstairs.  Broke the news to my 2 cousins who were in attendance.  My one cousin I'm always going in and seeing him in the city.  The other?  It's been a tenuous sort of cousin-hood, new word alert.  Called my sister to tell her I arrived.  She would call back and speak to each of them for a little.  They very much understood.

     All in all it was a great time.  2 other guests that I was unaware of couldn't make it.  There was a good deal of food too.  14lb turkey, 1/4 sitting in a bag in my fridge.  Stuffing from whole foods, mashed turnips, brussellsprouts, damn my cursor when invisible again, there we go reboot and a fix.  ...mashed potatoes, 1 moldy  yam that the other cousin brought, friends had given it to her.  She'd cut off the  moldy part, it leaked in the oven as yams often do.  In the end it was thrown out.

     At one point we did venture outside, so frigid we quickly scurried back in.  Food was served.  Conversation while not worthy here, was quite good and fun.  The pies went into the oven.
  
     In case you don't remember, same post I referenced earlier, I brought an apple and a peach raspberry.  They were delicious.  The party broke up about 7.  Left overs put into bags.  And I was off.

     Car was in a good spot, I gave the guy what I hoped was a good tip.  Charged me $34 for the 6 or 7 hours I was there.  Got my stuff situated, seat belted the leftovers in the back seat.  And I was off.

     Had to do some contortions but was pleased to have found the bridge.  I even made the correct turn off, you can go right to the BQE or straight into Brooklyn.  Of course just because I made the right doesn't mean things went well.  You have read my blogs before right?

    I somehow missed a turn or took an extra turn.  I basically wound up going back of the bridge back into Manhattan and starting over.  Yup.  This is why I like my bridges free.  I'm a putz.  

     Okay it's been a bit over an hour, yeah you don't know it.  I'm back with coffee.  Back to the tale of the bridge.

     I meander down some cobble stone streets, there's one or two.  Trying to figure out where I messed up.  I could just start over but I don't want to.  Keeping my wits about me, I look for a place to pull over.  There's another pay garage, so not to deserted.  Pull over and consult Suri.  I ask her to get me to a destination well East and she obliged rather nicely.  Upon looking at the map later, I can't understand how I missed the main street.  Tilary.  Oh well.

     Once I'm on the main route and positive I can't get lost I reckon it's time for a smoke.  To celebrate a good fun evening and to take the edge off.  Well I could have thought better.

    The exit I got off at, and I should have known this, has a lot of private communities with guard shacks.  They are never willing to let you just sit for a moment and light a smoke.  So I found one without and did so and went home.

     If you celebrated Thanksgiving, hope you had a good one.  Otherwise hope you had a good Thursday.

-later