Friday Night

     It had been a rather long day.  The work weeks end had at last arrived.  Nearly got killed leaving my parking lot at work.  My fault to an extent.  Car was trying to make a left.  No traffic, made my right and all of a sudden there was a vehicle right behind me.  Mind you I didn't hear her brake hard. 

     Think she'd just made the lane was getting to ramming speed.  I say she because I got the obligatory yell out the window of asshole.  Did the usual raising my hand in apology and made a quick right.  Decided on a different route home.

     Got home safe enough.  Brother in law just woke from his first drunken stupor.  Apparently they bumped my sisters chemo to Monday, that would be today.  She was to sick to get to the G.P. to have blood work.  I was just unamused.

     6:30.  Spoke to my sister.  Brother in law came in with his drunk sleepy voice.  What are we doing for dinner.  She claimed not to be hungry, I said I'm going to the bathroom.  I just didn't feel like dealing.  Even I need a night off.  Sat in my chair in my room.  Enter the brother in law.

     I been trying to she what she wants for dinner all day.  She doesn't know.  I opened my eyes at that point.  I was tired.  Told him the fridge had food.  Meatloaf, pasta.  He went in to their bedroom, made the report and came out stomping his feet.

     I went to the kitchen, where he was doing his mumbling to his drunk assed self.  Said he didn't want to discuss it.  I pointed out that I was only there to finish my salmon salad for dinner.  I did.  He made a grilled cheese and I decided to go out.

     It was a comfortable enough night.  And it beat sitting around the house.  Sister called me in, told her I was going.  She said she didn't know what to have for dinner.  In the end.  I heated her some pasta and the last of the meatloaf.  Rocket science huh?

     It was to late to just dig up plans.  40's are often not like the 20's.  Most everyone had plans.  So I grabbed a smoke and determined my options. Got gas.  Passed a few bars.  As someone who just doesn't drink anymore, there is no reason to hang in bars for me.

     Mind you, if I could I would.  I always enjoyed the bar scene.  Oh the tales I could tell.  As could a lot of you I imagine.  And if you found the right bar, it could be a very comfortable fit.  A couple of pints and it was just allright.  

     I no longer had the option.  More sad was I no longer had the desire.

     Music.  That was what I wanted.  Some nice blues or something.  As I drove around that was when I realized just how out of touch with the music scene I'd become.  I found none. Promised myself I'd do better next week.

     So I drove and had a nice smoke.  Got home about 10.  Sister was full of interrogating questions. She hates when I go out.  

     My brother in law too.  To and extent.  Means he has to be on call for her.

     As I said they both live to be home. Only leaving to work, now that's just my brother in law.  My sister is imprisoned, of her own making and now by the cancer.  I try to keep a good spirit for them.

     But sometimes.  Just sometimes.  I need to get out for myself.  I've even given thought to next Friday.  I know of a place that has a piano player.  See what happens.

-later