Christmas.

     Well I'm up for the day at 2 in the morning.  Serves me right for following my hibernation instinct.  Went to bed at about 6:30 Sunday night.  It was just so damned cozy.

     Correction.  In the last entry where I said I had the pie in the fridge.  I obviously did mean the freezer.

     Christmas day.  Having survived the dinner from the previous night. Cooked up a small roast, some mashed potatoes reheated on the stove top, candied carrots.  And some instant biscuits.  As I've already mentioned, the dessert was wonderful. 

     We set up some nice wooden snack trays in their bedroom for the dinner.  Don't ask.  Was kind of cool.  Brother in law wasn't terribly drunk, if he drank at all.  We'd have breakfast this way too.

     Pancakes.  Apparently this was a tradition of my brother in laws.  Used to make them from scratch, but that became a hassle.  So we just use Bisquick now. Fried up some bacon too.  All and all a nice treat.

     There were no gifts this year.  Save that we do have a house to live in.  Christmas isn't supposed to be about gifts anyway.  I think we had a good one.

     We actually had a white Christmas.  It had snowed the perfect amount.  Just some on the cars and lawns and it was gone by night.  I went out for a ride in the early afternoon.  Sick of all the togetherness and wanting a smoke.  

     I just drove.  It was kind of neat.  I was surprised to see some other people out too.  For the most part it was quiet.  Not much traffic of any kind.  A few places open here and there.  Just pleasantly drove around.  It's one of the things I do enjoy.

     Got home.  Lunch.  Dinner was.  Sister had chemo sickness.  Think we had some chicken breast I bought.  For the life of me I don't remember the sides.  Finished off the cannoli  cake.  Like I said the perfect size.  And that was it.  

-later

Saturday Morning...

     Top of the morning.  Just had my juice, now I'm onto my coffee.  Both are very good.  Actually just rinsed out the juice cup and poured the coffee in.  First time I've done this, that I can remember that is.  Okay where to begin.

     Okay I'm not big on apologizing or saying life got to real.  I'll just say I haven't had that much enthusiasm for the blog last few days.  A big part of it is the work schedule.  I'm working about 11 hours each day, not complaining.  It just chokes off the creative side of my brain a tad.

     Yes I consider this blog to be a creative outlet.  Anyway.  Sister wound up having chemotherapy just before the holiday.  Not a great combo.  Apparently she'd had a panic attack and cancelled it the Friday before.  No comment from me.  Have not walked an inch in those shoes.

     It had been a shakey weekend. Hammering out the menu.  It changed a few times. Got reamed out for how I put it on the list.  My handwritting sucks, however, I knew everything I wrote. No credit was given.  Didn't get upset, it was all due to the chemo sickness.

     Wow the entire previous paragraph is underlined in red, hope you can read it. 

     Dessert became a huge issue.  We have an apple pie in the fridge, from the place I get the Thanksgiving pies from.  Well this is the one we save for Christmas.  I don't recall the issue.  Wound up getting a small cannoli cake, and it was delicious, from a local place.  It was also the perfect size for us.

     Like a lot of holidays here one of the appliances decided to die.  This time it was the microwave.  Hilarious I think. So I'm off to get one today.  Wish me luck.

     I'll cover Christmas day tomorrow.  It's not that entertaining but fills the void I reckon.

-later

Friday Night

     It had been a rather long day.  The work weeks end had at last arrived.  Nearly got killed leaving my parking lot at work.  My fault to an extent.  Car was trying to make a left.  No traffic, made my right and all of a sudden there was a vehicle right behind me.  Mind you I didn't hear her brake hard. 

     Think she'd just made the lane was getting to ramming speed.  I say she because I got the obligatory yell out the window of asshole.  Did the usual raising my hand in apology and made a quick right.  Decided on a different route home.

     Got home safe enough.  Brother in law just woke from his first drunken stupor.  Apparently they bumped my sisters chemo to Monday, that would be today.  She was to sick to get to the G.P. to have blood work.  I was just unamused.

     6:30.  Spoke to my sister.  Brother in law came in with his drunk sleepy voice.  What are we doing for dinner.  She claimed not to be hungry, I said I'm going to the bathroom.  I just didn't feel like dealing.  Even I need a night off.  Sat in my chair in my room.  Enter the brother in law.

     I been trying to she what she wants for dinner all day.  She doesn't know.  I opened my eyes at that point.  I was tired.  Told him the fridge had food.  Meatloaf, pasta.  He went in to their bedroom, made the report and came out stomping his feet.

     I went to the kitchen, where he was doing his mumbling to his drunk assed self.  Said he didn't want to discuss it.  I pointed out that I was only there to finish my salmon salad for dinner.  I did.  He made a grilled cheese and I decided to go out.

     It was a comfortable enough night.  And it beat sitting around the house.  Sister called me in, told her I was going.  She said she didn't know what to have for dinner.  In the end.  I heated her some pasta and the last of the meatloaf.  Rocket science huh?

     It was to late to just dig up plans.  40's are often not like the 20's.  Most everyone had plans.  So I grabbed a smoke and determined my options. Got gas.  Passed a few bars.  As someone who just doesn't drink anymore, there is no reason to hang in bars for me.

     Mind you, if I could I would.  I always enjoyed the bar scene.  Oh the tales I could tell.  As could a lot of you I imagine.  And if you found the right bar, it could be a very comfortable fit.  A couple of pints and it was just allright.  

     I no longer had the option.  More sad was I no longer had the desire.

     Music.  That was what I wanted.  Some nice blues or something.  As I drove around that was when I realized just how out of touch with the music scene I'd become.  I found none. Promised myself I'd do better next week.

     So I drove and had a nice smoke.  Got home about 10.  Sister was full of interrogating questions. She hates when I go out.  

     My brother in law too.  To and extent.  Means he has to be on call for her.

     As I said they both live to be home. Only leaving to work, now that's just my brother in law.  My sister is imprisoned, of her own making and now by the cancer.  I try to keep a good spirit for them.

     But sometimes.  Just sometimes.  I need to get out for myself.  I've even given thought to next Friday.  I know of a place that has a piano player.  See what happens.

-later

In restless dreams...

     Morning.  It's 4 A.M. Sunday already.  For once I shall say it.  The weekend was to short.  I'll actually be glad of the break Christmas day.  Figured it's early enough.  One of those times when I feel rested.  If I go back I risk losing it all.

     That has always been the maddening part of my sleep cycle.  Not being able to just enjoy extra hours.  It's so debilitating to wake with a massive headache.  Plus I want to shower and hit mass today.  It's 4:15 and I'm actually contemplating it.  Just leave in the middle of this and come back........ 

     Okay wound up sleeping in until 6:45.  And I actually woke up pretty well too.  Showered.  I am not attending mass.  Just really don't want to go and possibly drag home a bug.  I did it when my mom got cancer and had chemo too.  Compromised immune systems and such.  Anyway to the dream.

     I had this one the day after the 'what dreams may come' one.  Not as detailed or even interesting.  I can't even say that is stuck with me as long, but I've mentioned it a few times.  So here it is.

     Starts in a hospital room.  It is at the far end of a dead end hallway.  Not in a square form like a hospital.  More like an apartment building.  I was there and there was a roomate.  I was in pretty good spirits.  Nurses were very good.  That is......until the weekend.

     Not sure why but the weekends always bother me in a hospital.  Well this wasn't to different.  At some point 1 nurse came in.  Not sure if I was being discharged or diagnosed.  She lay down on her right side facing away from me.  Looking out the windows.  I'm unsure of the view or if there was anyone else there.  She gave me a 2 word sentence.  I was gone.

     Next scene, this is a typical scattered dream.  I was in a crowded lobby.  Unsure if it was the hospital or somewhere else.  Someone, a guy mentioned the same diagnosis.  The words were english, they made no sense.  I did not retain them upon waking up,  The dream dissapated like most.  It was then that I decided to go back and confront the nurse and tell her off.  She was still in the same position.  And that was that.

Hope it was worth it.  Have a Sunday.  Really could have chucked Friday night in this entry.  But shopping list must be put together.

-later

Guess I could put an entry together.

     Morning.  Towards the bottom of the coffee mug here.  Played a few games of Adventure.  I still enjoy it.  Not as much as when I was 10 I must say.  I'm good for a few games in a row, then I shut it off.  At 10, I think I could play it for an hour straight.    

     Been a tiring week.  Overtime every day.  No.  I am most certainly not complaining.  Just reporting.  Breakfast time.  Thinking on 2 scrambled eggs with red bell pepper and a couple of diced asparagus.  But let us first finish the entry.

     Okay things maybe I should note for myself.  Oh great you get to see them.  I recalled the second dream from earlier in the week.  Not as interesting to me nor detailed.  Christmas spirit.  Friday night.  Okay that covers the title of the posts for this week.  Maybe I'll come up with something else en route.

-later

What dreams may come.

     What dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil.  Must give us pause.

     The line from the great soliloquy from Hamlet.  Well the second line is out of place, but it's my blog I reckon.  

     Have had some dreams the past 2 days.  They've stuck with me and thought about recording them here.  Nothing more than dreams with chaos.

     The one Monday morning.  Must've been after 3:30.  Started easily enough.  I was at the loading dock with the current crew.  Went inside to talk to the kid that was there normally.  And a courier arrived and I saw no point in remaining.  Only this was the dock of another place I worked.  It was snowing, my car was covered.  It's not the one I'm driving now.  At some point it was time to leave.  The building was huge and a lot of cars.  I made it out.  Had a brief drive to see my friend.  I'm not sure what he and I spoke of but it was more fluff than anything.  Perhaps a remnant of some old thing.  I was driving again, over known roads.  It was midday, I knew the roads and they were snow covered.

     Must point out that this is one of the dreams where I know almost all the places where I am.  The places are however not connected this way in reality.  It would be like getting out of bed and the next room would be some place else.

     I was on a straight road, no snow.  The storm had a visible break.  The sky had dark clouds but there was a tear of blue sky in it.  Then I hit a hill that does not exist on the road and the car did a dukes of hazard jump.  Upon landing it was back on snow covered roadway and a plowed into a snowy pile embankment.  I made a left onto one road.  Gets dicey.  I may have damaged property.Not sure why but I had to pay.  So I went to the bank.

     Now this bank was  new place for me.  It had 3 teller stations, 2 were occupied.  He reminded me of an old high school teacher.  Brown hair, 70's mustache.  There was 1 man to the right sitting at a desk.  A bank officer I presume.  He told me I had to do something with 3 eggs.  This didn't surprise me.  I don't know if I had the eggs or got them from one of the tellers.  The woman had a bit of a fit when I reached across for a bowl.  I apologized and went to the 3rd position where the was no one and got a bowl.

     At the little station opposite, where there used to be deposit tickets in the old days, I stood and cracked the first egg.  No problem.  The second was a little messy.  The third landed on the floor.  No it didn't break.  It landed more like a hard boiled egg.  

     It landed at the feet of the manager who asked me what the Hell I was doing.  I explained the ritual in what could have been an irritating manner. I told her I spoke to the guy who told me I had to break 3 eggs into the bowl.  He was sitting there but he was sitting there now.  He had changed seats.  He had moved to the right, there was door in the middle of where he was sitting and where he was previously.  And now there was a white piece of paper on the wall with his name.  And I then asked the manager if I'd made myself clear.  She said yes but indicated that I did so in a very irritating manner. 

     That was when I unfortunately got woken up.  In fact my first words were that I wanted to finish this conversation.  Which of course I couldn't.

     I even went so far as to make a recording of this dream later in the day.  It stuck with me.  Alas in the writing of this entry, I wish I'd done so with this mornings.  It is gone now.

     Hopefully this has been an entertaining entry in my dream scape.  If not, oh well.

-later

Wednesday

     I did say I'd post about it.  So what the Hell, it's only 4:16 Sunday morning.  Maybe I can go back to bed for a few after this.

     I was assigned to pick my sister up from the hospital.  She was happy to be coming home.  My plan was to get her settled and come back to work.  4 hours off, 4 hours or so on.  Oh the best laid plan of mice and men.

     It was 10 when I left.  Told my manager I'd call to let him know the situation.  The last time I picked her up she threw a hissy fit that I planned to go back to work.  This time she was far more reasonable.

     It was a cold wintry day.  Low 30's I believe.  Could not get a grand parking spot.  It was a good 5 min walk to the hospital.  Near a shuttle bus stop that never ran.  Got upstairs, surprised my sister.  She rang for the nurse who'd just been there.

     If you have any experience with being discharged from a hospital you know what happens next.  It takes an hour or two.  I'd say I was there by 10:30.  The papers were signed by 11:40.  I was walking back to get the car while they wheeled her downstairs.

     She asked if I could drop off a few prescriptions.  Also asked about lunch.  I told her about the options in the house.  Which seemed good to me.  She passed.

     Got her home, went to get Wendy's Portabello Mushroom Bacon Melt.  Why on earth Wendy's, the only fast food chain I ever used to eat, did that is beyond me.  On and they changed the role too.  Seems every burger has bacon on it now.  UGH!  To make matters worse, after every order they offer a 4 piece nugget for .99.  I mean really?  I just ordered 2 sandwiches and a small fry.  Do I need to eat more crap.

     She loved her burger.  I was very unimpressed.  It was a mistake on my part to have it, nutritionally I mean.  Sodium content was 1,450.  I'm on a plan for 2,000 daily.  So yeah stupid on my part.  Anyway.

     Just got her set up on her cpap machine. It's a machine for sleep apnea and such.  Now my brother in law had some issue with filling the tank over the weekend.  I know my sister had some previous issues with it.  So of course you know.  It went on, no lights, after 15 seconds, beeped continuously.  

     I went straight for the number on the machine.  I'm not a total idiot.  It was 1 in the afternoon.  Maybe I could get some action on it today.  I did.  Woman told me they'd have someone out there, just couldn't give me a time.  So my day was shot.  Called my manager and explained the situation.

     Did some stuff, made meatloaf.  Kid came in around 5.  Now they take their oxygen shit seriously.  24 hours service.  CHS is good stuff.  I remember when we lost power during Irene back in '11.  Dude showed up at midnight, but he showed with a couple of oxygen tanks.

     Machine got replaced and all was well in the world.  That's it.  No really.

-later

treatsie draft

     Spent a good deal of time going over my expenses.  Was a killer month.  Luckily there's no one really to buy Christmas gifts for.  Because I am broke until the 31 of December.

     Well I will have $100 to live on until then.  I can often see why most people panic over money.  I admit that my credit card bill was sky high for me.  That however is not an ordinary occurrence.  Just a lot of bills.  There was an additional Dr. bill, well office visit.  Haven't gotten to the actual bill yet.  Or should I say haven't received it.  

     House bills?  Well I put my deposit in.  And an additional $20 for the food shopping.  Brother in law says he'll put his house money in once his trust check clears.  Mind you he got paid last week.  So we're a bit tight there just now.  This Friday he owes 2 payments.  We are far beyond the point where I can just chuck in extra.  As I type I need $400 some odd dollars of the next check just to pay bills for me.  Tis life.

     I can see why as an adult people feel time flies faster.  I think it is summarily tied to pay.  You have to wait and plan.  So that leads us to the question: What if one has no job?  I think that is to simple of a question.  It must be deeper than that.  Because a lot of people do not have jobs and time flies for them.

     I think it has to do with the sheer feeling of being responsible.  You then have to think and budget.  In a society where we have become very 'Got To Have It Now' we have lost our ways.  No one plans anymore.  Must have instant gratification instead of delayed gratification.

     I've had this conversation often times before.  I usually try to boil it down to the difference between want and need:  For example

I want an alfa romeo spider.
Versus
I need a car.

     The need is never as sexy as the want.  That is a key component.  Delayed gratification.  To few people practice it anymore.  And this current crop of new generation don't understand it either.  Sad but true.

     It is part and parcel to the age we currently live in.  I remember the time before all this.  Before debit cards; atms; cell phones; internet; color t.v.  These are as archaic a concept to this generation as the horse and buggy were to me.    

     Some how I must pull a Christmas dinner out of myself.  I must make merry.  And oddly enough, I can and will.

     I'm sitting in my cold house.  Sweats and flannel with a bathrobe atop.  And I'm comfortable.  Yes the wolf is restlessly still on the door stoop.  I'm hoping maybe he'll eat my brother in laws brother and sister.  Just a poor joke.  

     I priced a play station 3 today.  Pretty reasonable I thought.  Was under $300.  Beats the original price.  But that was before I did the bills spread sheet.  Now I'm glad I didn't jump on that.  Again difference between want and need.  I want one badly, I miss my video games.  I need to have money to pay bills.  One is more detrimental than the other.  The need should usually win.

     Think I'll post this today also.  What the Hell.  Hope you are staying warmer than I.

-later.

Titular title space.

     We may be getting 4 inches of snow.  While we've had worse in the past years, it will be bad for here.  Still not used to it.  It's 7:32 in the morning, I've just recommended that we have a simple pasta dinner tonight.  Unsure of how the road travel will be.

     Damn I just realized.  Never sent a text  back to my best friend.  Invited me to a holiday get together tomorrow.  I'll just text back if the weather lets me get there.  Will be hard going with the shoveling.  

      It's been interesting.  Got sister home Wednesday.  Actually there's an entry that I can put down here.  Okay you'll get two entries this week.  Today's and when my sister came home.

     The point there is that she seems changed a bit.  Not as much more positive, but a little more motivated.  I think and hope.  Back from the brink such as it is.

     So that's where I'm at.  If you don't see a post tomorrow, Sunday, I don't have power.  Hope things are good in your corners of the world.

-later

Virtual space waste.

     The title is a tad misleading. I just felt the flow of it.  I was having a discussion about 'virtual memory' recently.

     My last computer, a gateway, would always give me warnings about being low on 'virtual memory'.  I would counter the box with the idea of; "It's virtual, meaning it doesn't really exist, therefore should be unlimited."
     
     To no avail however.  Wouldn't imagination fall into the virtual category?  Does that mean ones imagination is limited?  I chose the second definition offered by Websters on line.
 
generated by computer: simulated by a computer for reasons of economics, convenience, or performance.

     That clears what up exactly?  Not to sure.  Okay, generated by computer.  That makes sense.  Simulated by?  Well If it is simulated...am I just to dense to think this through at 4:20 in the morning.

     If it is generated or simulated then it is not an actual thing.  The hard drive is a thing.  Something tangible.  The memory chips inside the computer are tangible.  This virtual memory seems intangible.  Thus how can it be limited?

     Our imaginations could never be considered limited.  They are by very definition intangible.  Ahh well.  That's the thought that has kept with me to post an entry.

     Should be bringing home my sister today.  She was upset that no one called her at the hospital last night.  Understandable.  Usually my brother in laws job.  Oh well.  So a half day at work for me.  

     Going to make some meatloaf for dinner, exciting no?  Alright I'm out. 

-later

    

Another week dawns. Well it's not dawn quite yet.

     I've been up since 3.  It happens.  So I showered and used my new hair brush.  Yeah big whoop.  Actually I did think it was.  It's even purple.  Was unsure about it at first.  I mean come on $6 for a hair brush what's going on.  Oh well.

     Got a dusting of snow last night.  Roads will be icy.  First time for me driving in this in this car.  Have a co-worker out today.  The ugly job from last week is no doubt finished.  Left my manager dealing with it on Friday.  

     Breakfast; leave early; a good 40 min on the treadmill; then I'll be ready for work.  Have some of the dinner from Saturday left over for lunch.  And this is after I had some for lunch yesterday from shopping.  Was not as impressed with the chicken kebab as I was everything else.  

     Did some baked fries and grabbed the last porter house steak in the fridge.  Since my sister wasn't home and it was just me and the brother in law.  He enjoyed it.   I can never stress that when there is a good sale and you can afford it.  Buy it!  Freezer wrap it!

     Sister is thinking she'll be released today or tomorrow, or Wednesday.  So I'll be on call.  It's easier for me.  This way it leaves my brother in law to take off and handle the chemo appointment.  With luck that starts back up on Friday.  We shall see.

     Rest of Sunday was alright.  Shopping, lunch, lounge.  Left at half time on the 1 O'clock game, told sister I'd come up and visit.  She was surprised.  Actually to an extent I was too.  When I got home brother in law was finishing emptying the dishwasher.  So I took care of the sink and the meal.

     He had a few beers, deserved I thought.  For him, he did a shitload this weekend.  Recap, cleaned bathroom, vacuumed, visited sister, food shopping, visited sister, dishwasher.  Trust me.  That's huge for him.  We even talked about sports while I cooked.  Not a terrible time.

     So what does this week hold?  I've no idea.  But it starts at 3 and showered by 3:45.  And as the cold nips at my ankles I'm going to go and get dressed now.  Hope you all have a good one.

-later

Whimsy cont'd

     Looking for purpose for this day.  Nothing was completed yesterday.  Just a complete disorganized mess.  Something that could have and should have been avoided.

     Meandering drives.  Drive 10 miles in one direction, change mind, turn around, then back in the original direction. 2 things I did get accomplished.  Sort of.  Hit Barnes & Nobles book store.  Unfortunately packed.  Kiddies seemed to be holding a concert in the back.  Sounded dreadful but cute to see nonetheless.

     No point in my going for a look.  The pack was thick with parents and family.  That part was nice.  The part that wasn't?  I couldn't get into a groove.  I'm the sort that wanders the books store til the mood strikes.  Then I groove along.

     Often looking at books from authors I don't know.  Examining the bargain tables hoping for a gem.  Seemed to me there was and over abundance of teen stuff.  Wonder if that is where the market lies just now.

     Personally I didn't last long and decided to get gas.  I thought about the rest of the day.  Much had been eaten by traffic alone.  So many people on the road.  Odd.  Oh but this is shopping season I suppose.

     Queried I, what to do with the rest of the day.  Decided to return home for some lunch.  Dinner was a thought as well.  Was going to treat myself to some Halal food, unsure of the spelling there.

     Reasoning that would be costly I ate some of the whole wheat pasta I made for dinner earlier in the week.  Good not great.  Not to old either.  Then I had a thought, the car.  Should I get it washed?

     Spurred by the idea that they might be open I went to the local car wash.  Yup they were open.  Got the usual wash and vacuum.  Must say I am succeeding thus far in keeping it clean and mean.

     Tediously I waited.  Watched it go out for the detailing.  Tires, dash, windows.  It may be just me.  I'm always surprised how clean my windows are afterwards.  I really thing I may stop the occasional cigar in the car. 

     Unfortunately that has become a bit of a habit again.  And I've missed the contrived ashtray once or twice.  Thus I had little debate as to whether or not I should go.

     Vividly dreaming about my dinner I returned home.  Brother in law had been busy.  Cleaned his bathroom and vacuumed, and visited my sister.  He was tired.  He perused the menu and opted for the chicken fingers and fries.

     What did I get?  The combo plate.   Rice, skewer of chicken and beef, gyro meat and something else.  It is a lamb sausage like thing.  It is very good. And dessert I had baklava.  

     Here is where I fail dear reader.  So I see no point in continuing.  I especially though the thread in today's post was much better.

     Dinner was good.  Had and all right night's sleep.  Now it's shopping list time and then shopping.

-later

Whimsy

       As the title suggests I'm having coffee and it is Saturday morning.  Just some thoughts.  Tis a cold day, about 36 now, damp cold to boot.

     Because I spend more time on the weekends trying to think what I want to do.  More time than actually doing it.  Even have given thoughts about it during the week.  Make a note I say to myself, ignoring it more often than not.

     Consider the madness of it.  We all have things to do and yet we often do not get to them.  Why?  Right this moment I am trying to figure what to do.  So far, get a bagel.

    Damned good bagel too.  My favorite.  Whole wheat sunflower with veggie cream cheese.  For dinner?  We'll get there.  Sure the brother in law will have some old standby.  Not much left in the fridge.  Food shopping is tomorrow.

     Expecting myself to go to the laundromat today.  Must wash that North face jacket.  Haven't worn it since for a few years.  Sadly it's been left in a bad state.  I'm hoping washing it will make it good to go again.  It was a treat when I bought it.

     Fairly good bargain too.  And I do endorse them.  When it gets this cold and damp, even I put away the leather bomber in favor of this jacket.  Clothes shopping?  Just don't see it today.

     Going shopping just doesn't appeal right now.  No where near as appealing as sitting in my house drinking coffee.  Did I mention that I'm thinking about getting a lap top.  I know I've expressed my computer woes before.  So I've decided on a lap top.  At some point.

    How?  Not a clue at all.  I really need to dig down and do some research about them.  I know I'm totally computer ignorant.  For some reason technology does not resonate with me.  I tend to stand and flinch like Frankenstein when confronted by villagers torches.

     I will do it however.  Like I said previously, this computers days are numbered.  And I really want to be able to play computer games again.  I miss them.

     Just an idea.  I need to clean a place for the T.V.  No I've not set it up yet.  I'm also still toying with the idea of a new gaming system.  But need always counters want in my book.  The idea of a laptop that I could download some games on.  

     Knowing that.  It will placate me for a bit.  Even my Atari 2600 disk is not quite enough right now.  So maybe that's what I'll do also today.  Price systems, gain knowledge will be included.  

-t.b.c.

The road goes ever, ever on....

     Somewhere in 1980, they did that movie.  That is the song that closes it out.  Somehow I can never find the lyrics online. There are several versions, but that is the one I remember best.

Roads goes ever, ever on.
To the lands beyond the sea.
On a white ship will I sail.
Watching shadows part for me.
Leaving havens gray with rain.
Leaving friends with gentle pains, as they start another day.
Roads I've traveled I must leave. 
For I've turned the final bend.
Weep not empty tears but grieve, as my road comes to an end.
It's so easy not to try.
Just let the world go drifting by. 
If you never say hello.
You don't have to say goodbye.

     That's the song I remember from the movie.  In the books there is something similar.  Great way to end a movie.  As always I get off topic.

     Suffice to say that after the phone call from the brother in law family, there was a blow up.  Had to fill my sister in on everything.  She'd no idea how long they'd been trying to get on the deed as well.  Even told her tonight I think it's the middle child complex.  Where you try to appease everyone.  In the end that always fails.

     Lots was said.  He still feels torn, says they're only looking out for him.  That always goes over like a ton of bricks.  We have no choice but to do this.  It is a disgusting way to be forced into it.  We will find a lawyer.  

     Anyway.  She's back in the hospital.  Yup.  Double pneumonia, blood clots, bladder infection.  She went back in last night.  Spoke with her tonight, doing a bit better.  

     His sister called.  They are sending a check for 3K.  Apparently sister posted on Facebook and their conscience got the better of them.  Although his sister did call and warn him that they were expecting an accounting and such.  

     Money, whats it good for?  No I'm not going to put up the lyrics to that song.  But just wanted to post, get stuff out there.  

-later

Drama.

     My house has been full of the stuff as of late.  Right now it's about money.  Lack therefore it on my brother in law and sisters part.

     Now I'm certain I've filled you in on the trust fund and such.  If not, maybe later.  Long story shortened, he's waiting for another call from his brother and sister tonight.  Spoke to them last night.  Now tonight.  More than he's spoken to them in ages.

     I'm all set to let them be villains, but this time they may have a point.  Firstly and foremost they want him on the deed to the house.  Okay not a huge deal.  The part that bites is they want it done now and it just isn't going to happen now.

     The second part against him is the money they sent him at the beginning of October.  It's gone.  Why?  Damned if I know and damned if he knows.  And since my sister is practically bedridden, it was only him.  And this was a nice sum to boot.  He's just that horrible with money.  And they want an accounting.

     If I get more involved it will definitely be be putting him on a budget.  Worst part was listening last night.  He bleated "I know I fucked up okay.  I'm sorry."  Just don't know what to say anymore.

     And I've no money to lend the sad sacks.  We may be f@#$!$.  Oh well.  I know I'll be fine.  So this is primarily why I haven't been posting.

     Oh and on a side note.  For the second time now, someone tried to hack my account.  Got an email from Google about it.  I assure you I am just not that interesting. 

     Okay I'm done.

-later

Thanksgiving.

     It had been a rough night, I already figured that they would not be accompanying me to the city.  I made the mashed potatoes without saying a word.  She'd been up and down all night, my brother in law with her.

     Once the potatoes were finished I had a word with my brother in law.  I pointed out the turkey breast, cranberry sauce, rolls, he was certain they weren't going either.  So my preparations the night before weren't in vain.

     It was around 11 when the news descended to me.  I understood.  I also told her that I was giving her some time.  Last time she had begun chemo it was a last minute decision to go.  Not to be this time.  Got the pies out of the fridge, same pies I mentioned a few posts back.  I was on my way.

     Cold and blustery day, overcast.  Traffic for the most part wasn't bad.  One snarl really set me back 30 min.  Other than that it was good.  The Brooklyn bridge is becoming one of my favorite bridges.  Unlike the 59th street or Queensborough, or whatever they're calling it now.  The latter can be difficult to find.

     I arrived, parked the car in a pay lot and made my way upstairs.  Broke the news to my 2 cousins who were in attendance.  My one cousin I'm always going in and seeing him in the city.  The other?  It's been a tenuous sort of cousin-hood, new word alert.  Called my sister to tell her I arrived.  She would call back and speak to each of them for a little.  They very much understood.

     All in all it was a great time.  2 other guests that I was unaware of couldn't make it.  There was a good deal of food too.  14lb turkey, 1/4 sitting in a bag in my fridge.  Stuffing from whole foods, mashed turnips, brussellsprouts, damn my cursor when invisible again, there we go reboot and a fix.  ...mashed potatoes, 1 moldy  yam that the other cousin brought, friends had given it to her.  She'd cut off the  moldy part, it leaked in the oven as yams often do.  In the end it was thrown out.

     At one point we did venture outside, so frigid we quickly scurried back in.  Food was served.  Conversation while not worthy here, was quite good and fun.  The pies went into the oven.
  
     In case you don't remember, same post I referenced earlier, I brought an apple and a peach raspberry.  They were delicious.  The party broke up about 7.  Left overs put into bags.  And I was off.

     Car was in a good spot, I gave the guy what I hoped was a good tip.  Charged me $34 for the 6 or 7 hours I was there.  Got my stuff situated, seat belted the leftovers in the back seat.  And I was off.

     Had to do some contortions but was pleased to have found the bridge.  I even made the correct turn off, you can go right to the BQE or straight into Brooklyn.  Of course just because I made the right doesn't mean things went well.  You have read my blogs before right?

    I somehow missed a turn or took an extra turn.  I basically wound up going back of the bridge back into Manhattan and starting over.  Yup.  This is why I like my bridges free.  I'm a putz.  

     Okay it's been a bit over an hour, yeah you don't know it.  I'm back with coffee.  Back to the tale of the bridge.

     I meander down some cobble stone streets, there's one or two.  Trying to figure out where I messed up.  I could just start over but I don't want to.  Keeping my wits about me, I look for a place to pull over.  There's another pay garage, so not to deserted.  Pull over and consult Suri.  I ask her to get me to a destination well East and she obliged rather nicely.  Upon looking at the map later, I can't understand how I missed the main street.  Tilary.  Oh well.

     Once I'm on the main route and positive I can't get lost I reckon it's time for a smoke.  To celebrate a good fun evening and to take the edge off.  Well I could have thought better.

    The exit I got off at, and I should have known this, has a lot of private communities with guard shacks.  They are never willing to let you just sit for a moment and light a smoke.  So I found one without and did so and went home.

     If you celebrated Thanksgiving, hope you had a good one.  Otherwise hope you had a good Thursday.

-later

And now for something completly different....

     Me and coffee here.  I remember when I was about 10, almost had a dog named java.  Of course we didn't get it.  Dog was bigger than me and hyper.  That's besides the point. Anything you want to say coffee?

"Drink me"

     A beverage of few words ladies and gentleman. Dawn breaks upon yet another Saturday morning.  Promising cold weather and stuff like that there.  Oh what lies ahead of me today.  Unfortunately I already spent to much money.  What's worse is I don't even know how.  Well sort of.  

     I know I went to the bank after work yesterday.  Ahh yes the bank.  After that bought a burrito.  A good one, wasn't aware that the prices at my place had gone up.  It was like $8 and change.  Enormous and filling but still expensive.  Oh and yes I did hit the lounge.  Spent $20 there.  I may not even go tomorrow.  Yes I'm that disappointed in myself about that.  We shall see.

     Oh yes, I was going to tell you about my Thanksgiving wasn't I?  Shall we start?  No clue.  Coffee doesn't know either.  And I'm thinking on breakfast.  

     Along with the left over rolls that are still on the stove from Thursday, today is Saturday morn.  The dishwasher has yet to be run or a single pan to be washed.  I could have used that $20 for a breakfast out today.  What a silly assed fool I feel.  

     Okay tomorrow or maybe later, doubt that, I'll put up the Thanksgiving post.

-later

I'm frustrated.

     I'm sitting here, on a Friday night, frustrated as all Hell.  Trying to keep this coherent.  Not that easily done actually.  Where do we begin?

     Family drama?  Annoying but true.  I still don't want to go into it all.  Suffice it to say that it is treacherous, devious, and under handed.  Sounds fun?  If you say so.

     Story shortened.  Brother in law got a sum of money from his trust fund.  Well it's gone and it shouldn't be.  He then was pressured by my sister to ask for more, she doesn't know where money went either.  It has become clear that saving anything isn't in either of their blood.

     At his urging I became involved, secret from sister.  His brother no longer takes his calls.  He must deal with his younger sister.  He doesn't do this well.  In fact became so agitated on the phone with her that he just handed me the phone.  He went to compose himself on the couch.

     I pretty much placated and promised what they wanted.  I didn't really realize they'd been trying for 10 years to get his name on the deed.  It was never made clear.  Apparently it is a sticking point to them.  They're just looking out for him.  It's the family motto.

     He's not allowed to name her in his will, he's not allowed to have a life insurance policy that names her as beneficiary.  Very controlling behavior as you can see.  Stuff like that.  

     I went so far as to let them know exactly what I needed to run the house.  Even agreed to put his name on the deed.  I asked that we wait until the Spring when my sister would hopefully be past all this cancer stuff.  His sister said she believed me.  In fact seemed floored I acquiesced so easily.  I also informed her I wasn't aware of all that was going down.  She said she needed to think this through.

     I mean come on.  I'm running this place with very little help.  We are down 1 income.  Throw me a line.

     Oh she got back to me.  No money.  Unless...sister makes will leaving everything to brother in law.  Or we get his name on deed.  

     Can you imagine walking up to someone, who you've read me rage against.  Someone who is dealing with cancer and going through chemotherapy.  And telling them to make a deed?  Bullocks!

     Now in a small way I see there point.  This was no small amount of money that was given.  And they don't know where it went?  Hello.

     I'm doing both budgets now.  Not that easy, but doable.  See I just don't want to upset my sister.  Yes, seriously.  But she keeps asking him about his money.  It's going to hit the fan.  What to do, what to do.

     Think tomorrow we'll delve into my adventures in Thanksgiving from yesterday, or Thursday, depending on how you read it.

-later

1985 Thanksgiving tale cont'd

     Off we went, there was a bridge, woods would be next.  Now the best way up would be the NYS Thruway.  I can't say how we got there.  I can't say why we got there.  Not that I can't, just don't remember that far back.  Oh and I can't say I ever went on that parkway again.

     It was literally a 2 lane highway, in each direction.  The speed limit was still 55 miles an hour.  It was deserted and scenic.  I was in a 1976 8 cylinder gas guzzler.  Half way up we needed gas.  In those days you always carried cash.

     The roadway then seemed to have no rest stops.  Does it now? We got off at an exit and saw a house with gas pumps.  We literally had to pound on the door to wake the fellow.  He obliged sleepily, and pumped our gas and asked our destination.  We told him Vermont. He told us to be careful.

     The road was windy, trees on both sides.  Probably scenic.  Saw more than a few deer carcases.  It is not a road I would want to be on nowadays with people on cell phones and talking.  It promised to take us at least to Massachusetts.  As dawn approached the skies looked threatening.  But we were adventurers in our minds.  Going to the promised land.  

     I saw snow covered roads at some point in the middle of the day.  We arrive at Massachusetts.  We got off the highway and were greeted by nothing less than a state trooper.

"Road way is closed"  he said.

"Why?" we inquired.

     I tell you he had a look of disbelief.  Told us about the snow storm.  We turned away and drove back towards home.  The disappointment did not last long.  We had a new threat.  The roads we had just come from were all snow covered.

     There was holiday traffic snarling it's way behind 2 snow plows.  The snow we had passed through was not requiring it.  We knew this to be bad.

     The Taconic can be treacherous.  Windy.  And to this day I still tell the tale.  What tale?  I'm getting there.

     As we followed the procession and turned one curve the storm was hitting the trunk.  An opposite turn and it was a good 100 yards behind us.  And we were going no more than 30 miles an hour.  So glad for the plows.

     No we never thought of stopping somewhere.  And where prey tell?  Told you this road did not have signs or even rest stops.  So it was a long ride home.

     Got back safely on Thanksgiving day.  Mom was none to pleased as I pulled up.  Her and my sister all dressed, were were having Thanksgiving with neighbors down the street.

     Okay maybe not the best story.  Or maybe my recollections are not that great.  But I hit the highlights.  Hope you enjoyed.

-later

     

A very 1985 Thanksgiving part 1.

     Picture it.  1986 the age before cell phones, atm machines, internet, just picture it.  I was driving my 1976 Ford Granada still.  Paying my way by washing dishes.  Wearing seat belts had just become mandatory the year before.  Ronald Regan was still in power.

     For me it marked the passing of my Dad in October of the previous year.  Unexpectedly.  I was in my first year of college and was rocked.  I'd been at a community college so was still near home.  But it's not about my dad, just setting the full table.

     I was at my friend Dave's house.  Were we drinking?  No but we were discussing it.  It was probably the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  That's why it's a Thanksgiving tale.

     We were discussing our disgust about the drinking age becoming 21.  Now as anyone who was just about to be 19 at that age can tell you.  We were 17, almost 18 when they changed the age to 19.  And now just on the precipice of 19 they were changing to 21.

     We'd decided to go to Paris.  What?  We were young and stupid and of course without passports.  The idea fell flat after we phoned to inquire about tickets.  $500 one way.  Not sure if that's good or bad by the 21st century mark.  So back to the situation at hand.

     Now the drinking age, well it's not exactly what you would call a law.  Oh no, don't you remember history at all?  You see as of December 1st, any state not raising their drinking age would not get certain funding.  Vermont was the last holdout we could reach.

     With our righteous indignation, and the fact that Vermont was going to change it, we planned a road trip.

     It was a mere 8 hours.  We could have a drink and be back.  Now let me say this much.  We had plenty of resources for drinking. Had no troubles buying or even drinking in bars.  This was purely about youth full indignation. I went home to deliver the news and we'd planned to start by 4 in the morning.

     My mom was less than pleased. But I gave little choice.  I've no idea what Dave's parents said or if he even told them.  We were off on yet another road trip together.  Did I ever tell you about Graceland?  Oh but that was the 90's so never mind.

     Foreshadowing:  As I said no atm machines, no cell phones.  I should mention no weather channel either.

-t.b.c.

Short Entry

     Holiday shit going on around here.  Think we are missing a huge snow storm and am actually grateful for that.  House drama is abounding from brother in laws family.  Trying to keep a cool head.  I'd try to elaborate but have been occupied.  And it's moments before I get the bathroom for my shower.

     Still up in the air what's happening on Thanksgiving day.  Will it be just me trekking into the city or 3 of us.  If you're very lucky I'll relate a Thanksgiving road trip that went rather awry.  But only if you're lucky.  I'll do that tonight or tomorrow, we'll see.

-later

Ugh.

     Yup.  Ugh.  Nuff said.  Well not really.  It's 1:46 at the start of this entry, Monday early hours.  It was a weekend.  I managed 3 hours sleep.  I'm slightly troubled and that will not let me sleep.

     Saturday.  Oh yeah that went very well.  Was told about a call from my neighbor about some mushrooms in my gutters.  I said what?  Well in the small hours of Saturday I went up on my roof.

     I haven't been on my roof in ages.  Landscaper was doing the gutters last I knew.  Well I'm assuming age has got the better of me.  I was never so uncomfortable up there as I was then.

     I was literally crawling, I remember being able to actually walk up right on my roof.  I can't call it vertigo, but it was a very uncomfortable feeling.  I always used to clean my gutters this way.  On the edge with a bag.  I found myself feeling very hesitant.  Sliding along, the best way I can describe it.  I hadn't even made it to the mushrooms yet.

     Coming down was a freaking nightmare.  Gone the carefree, slightly sure footed self.  It took a great deal for me to get on all fours and put my first foot on the ladder.  I don't want to say I was terrified, but that may be just the word.  I think the main thing that kept me going was the thought of having to call the fire department to rescue me.  I was not going through that indignity.

     Made my way around to the side and I saw something on the ground.  Insulation.  What the Hell was that doing here.  I went about cleaning it up.  Now fearing the worst.

     Now when this side of the house was constructed something had occurred.  A plumber had come and moved the roof pipe for the bathroom.  I'm sure that there is a proper name.  This left a perfect round hole in the shingles on my roof.

     I explained it to my fellow inmates, who assured me it would get taken care of.  I won't lie, I trusted them then.  2 years passed and it still wasn't taken care of.  Now my brother in law, doesn't do roof tops.  I was annoyed.  So I let it be.  Again assured that it would get taken care of.  Yup.  I bought it.

     Then of course came my health issues, so I no longer went onto the roof or ladder.  And apparently my landscaper no longer did gutters.  What a joy I know.

     So there I am.  Cleaning insulation, looking up at the roof top.  Fearing the worst.  Once I was satisfied the clean up was done I positioned the ladder.  Rung by rung I ascended.  Yeah, that wasn't mushrooms in my gutter, insulation.  I hit the top, well joy of joys the wood was gone.  There were chunks of it laying on the roof top.  A squirrel had apparently found a nice nesting spot.  I was pissed at the rodent.  Who wasn't at home.  

     It was a pleasant enough day and I knew action had to be taken.  Funny how adrenaline can over come fear sometimes.  Off to the local big chain for supplies.  I needed a quick patch.  Couple of reasons.

     Firstly, the temperature was supposed to drop like crazy on Sunday, now yesterday.  It was late morning, early afternoon.  I still wanted to make the cigar event.

     Bought some stuff, on my card, don't get me started.  Trust me, I've had enough of money woes right now.  I think that's why I'm up.  Need to get up in 2-3 hours.  I'll be glad to get an hour and a half.  Anyway.

     I finally figured how the caulking gun worked, embarrassed to tell you how long.  Patched the roof.  Adrenaline pumping.  Not allowing me to care about my surroundings.  I patched, knees hurting like Hell.  Legs are still sore from the ladder.  It was done.

     The cigar event can wait until tomorrow's entry.  Hoping I can garner some more sleep.  After that, maybe I'll tell you about Sunday.  Maybe not.

-later

Small adventure.

    Small adventure.
     Was a fun day.  Started with a trip to the second Dr.  All good, we've decided to reduce the new poison I'm on.  Told him another story about the previous hospital visit.  The one I never finished here because I got bored and the timeline issues.

     Basically they wanted to do something called an echo cardiogram.  Gave me a form to sign.  Of course I questioned it.  The tech said it was just for the contrast they were using.  It couldn't be used on someone with a congenital heart defect.  I pointed out that I was one such person.  He looked at me and asked if I was going to sign it.  I said of course not.  At which point he called someone else in.  I refused and was wheeled out of the room.  We must be our own advocates and ask questions.

     After the appointment I was to meet my friend for lunch.  He'd texted me that he was not far at a meeting.  He told me of a diner he knew of.Well I had no idea where it was.  I knew what had to be done.

     Without hesitation I pulled out the phone.  Got directions and was on my way.  Now you may remember I just got a wire to connect my phone to my radio so I can listen to my podcasts.   

     For those that were here for the 5K entry, you understand, well I did this without trepidation.  Anyone wondering can go look for those entries. 

     The place was actually not that far from the hospital, a diner south of us.  It is a very congested place  to drive in.  Not one for a mid day drive trying to do a look around.  So I trusted Suri completely.  I know....odd.  I've really come to look at the phone as a tool.  I do text, not much.  And now that I know of the ease of getting to that town, I may explore it a bit in the Spring.

     Just a typical, overcrowded place.  Nothing remotely special.  Only appeals to the intrepid explorer within.  The car drove well and we found the diner.  Parking was tight and I found a spot to back into.  Damn it had been to long since I'd been to a diner.  Sent a text that I found it, received one that said he'd be about 15 min.  

     Place was busy enough that they wouldn't seat me until my friend arrived.  He did, we sat and talked like old friends.  It was good to see him again.  Hopefully we'll do this again.  No I didn't order coffee and fries.  That belonged to a younger version of myself.  With less care and responsibility.  

     We parted, I told Suri to find me the highway.  Lit a cigar and was en route.  I knew that I had to hit the cancer hospital for my sisters prescription.

     Got home.  She was in a full blown nicotine withdrawal fit.  I obliged.  And that's about it.  Let us see what today brings.  

-later

Tis Friday.

     Friday.  Off today again, for yet another Dr.  Yesterdays went okay.  Mostly good news.  Forgot 1 of my questions.  Had one decreased.  The new poison will be the responsibility of today's Dr.  After that I hope to be able to grab a quick lunch with an old friend.

     Sisters chemo went alright yesterday.  She's happy the rest of the schedule are for Fridays.  And surprise of surprises my brother in law will be taking her.  She's also happy cause it improves her chances of going to my cousins for Thanksgiving.

     Yes I'm slightly enthusiastic about it.  Only slightly.    

     Seems I'm having internet problems, or computer problems.  Been a morning.

     If it improves I'll be back.  But have been kicked off twice.  This weekend looks promising.

-later

Randomness

     Well.  Well I'm here.  As stated before I'm off for a few days, Dr. appointments.  Exciting as all Hell.  Drinking my juice at 4 in the morning, as if I was going to work.

      Slept decently.  Woke up once, sister must have woken up brother in law.  He had a screaming mimi attack about it.  I went back to bed.

     Got invited out on Saturday, looks like Dr. Who may be a bust for me.  We'll see.  Yes of course I could stay home, but we'll see okay.

     Dr.'s office called my house yesterday.  Then my cell phone.  I mean come on damnit, I've given them instructions not to call the house phone.  Firstly, by the time I get home, they're gone for the day.  Secondly, I don't need my business known.

     After my  mom died, my sister became fixated on my health.  Annoying at best.  To the point that when I'm done she wants me to call.  F that.  I remember one time, when I had my old cell phone, must be 8 years ago.

     Typical appointment there.  Took about 4-5 hours.  Got back to my car, I'd left my cell phone there.  Had 7 messages all from her.  Going from "hi, haven't heard from you." to "WHERE ARE YOU IS EVERYTHING OKAY" and concluding with "OIEHJROIWLADKFNLW8EFRA0WOPFNLD,KL"  or something akin to that.  I remember that phone, there was no option to fast forward to the next message.  So when I got home I made her listen to all 7.  I also instructed my Dr.'s office to never use my home phone.  Which they fail to oblige me consistently.

     Ordinarily this appointment would constitute a breakfast out.  One of my favorite places.  Expensive for breakfast, think it's $16 tip included.  The coffee is excellent and unlimited.  I've my favorite dishes, but will often go for them or another special.  It's one of these places that are only open for breakfast and lunch.

      But I'm thinking of my budget.  Thinking about Saturday.  Besides which I've enough stuff here to make a kick ass breakfast.  I'm thinking the following.

     Half of a whole wheat sunflower bagel.  With some guacamole, sliced red bell pepper.  Topped off with a fried egg with a goodly amount of black pepper on it, both sides of course.  Oh and no coffee.  I could. It sits in the coffee pot just steps away from me.  Maybe I'll make an exception tomorrow.  Oh and yes I made the guacamole.  Think I mentioned that a few nights ago.

     Well I think that about covers a fairly cohesive post.  The heat shall be put up.  Brother in law and sister are looking to be out of here by 7:15.  She's watching T.V. in their room, he's in the living room.  Oh one more item.

     Got home with my sister about 6:30 last night.  She'd already said we should just take the wheel chair out of my car and just put it into my brother in laws car.  Well that didn't go well at all

     My brother in law got all flustered and started to yell.  Causing me to yell back.  In theory he just wanted to say he thought he'd put the chair in the trunk in the morning.  So it wouldn't be cold when they got to the hospital.  I pointed out that unless he put it in the back seat as opposed to the trunk it would be cold for other anyway.  Basically I wound up bringing the chair in.  Ahh adult children abandoned to me.  Ones I never wanted.  Tis life I suppose.

-later 

A few things.

     Today must leave work early.  Taking sister to the oncologist.  Next 2 days will be Dr. appointments for me.  Unluckily enough in the middle of the day and still 20 min from work.  Not actually worth going to work and leaving.  Especially since tomorrows could last 4 hours.  Good Dr.'s always take time to speak with their patients, so it's worth the wait.

     I also think I'm going to get spoken to about some bull.  Not saying they're wrong, not saying they're right.  I just think the incidents over the summer and especially September can be explained.  A lot of stress, real bad eating, no exercise, stuff like that there.

     Oh and I have to select my new benefits package today.  Whoopee.  The benefits will still suck.  Though better than any of the alternatives I reckon.  I wonder just how close I may be to that Hawaii trip.

     Think they were arguing about brother in law calling family.  Not sure if I covered this.  If I did, she doesn't know, and he hasn't called.  I stay out of their domestic squabbles.  Even though it fills the house with sound.

     So that's where I'm at.  Oh and I may be seeing a good friend of mine after Friday's appointment.  That one is always quick.  So we'll see.

     Ah yes and this Saturday.  Saturday is the event at the lounge.  And Saturday night is the replay of some sort of 50th anniversary for Dr. Who. I'm going to try to make it.  Nope no T.V. set up in the room yet.  Hell no I'm not going to record it.  We'll see what happens.  So far though, I've managed to have no plans Saturday night.  But then, it's only Wednesday

     That's about it for the 4:30 in the morning report.  Must got put up the heat so the shower is warm and cozy.  Not like the brother in law leaves much hot water.

-later

Going to be a week.

     I like those statements.  Something concrete about something.  It's like when people at work tell me the weekend was to short.  My response is generally, "It's the same 2 days as last week."  Gets a chortle every so often.

      Today being Monday of course I went around saying "Happy Monday."  I just refuse to get all tied up because of the day that follows Sunday.  Every week it's followed by Sunday.  I don't think it's ever taken a day off, not to my recollection.  But then I could be mistaken.

     Sunday was alright.  Lounge and watched some Football.  Came home and made my first batch of chili in a good 14 years.  Oh and in those 14 years there were a lot of Mondays too.  Just saying. 

     Got a bit of salmon to cook tonight.  Oven baked, with some garlic powder and pepper.  Lots of pepper.  And I bake it with 3 slices of Lemon on top.  Makes for an awesome lunch.  It's my last piece, must go back to mega mart and buy more of the frozen stuff.  I did buy myself a can of it on Sunday.  

     When I'm done I'll get busy.  It's not even 8 in the evening yet.  Dogs barking I'll be right back.  Yup it's a full moon.  Lunatic creature.  

     Going to make some guacamole tonight too.  Love it on a bagel, or even on a whole wheat matzo.  Couple of avocado's; onion; 2 plum tomatoes; one squeezed lime.  Now you have something good.  I don't really bother with the cilantro.  I don't miss it.  Despise buying something I'm not going to use again.  Sort of like when I make hummus.  I don't use tahini sauce.  

     Dog is nuts.  She came in for just a face rub just now.  What do you expect of rescue dogs.  I remember clearly that summer we went to lots of pounds because my sister wanted a dog.  Shame, was some of the nicest times with both of them.  We don't go out a lot anymore.  With the exception of the Montauk expedition.  I still wouldn't have chosen this dog.  And to boot my sister isn't her favorite person.  I'm second, do the math if you've been here awhile.

      I'm still reeling from the fact that I had 96 views the other day.  I mean really now, is it that interesting?  Well who knows.  We'll see what happens.  I'm surely not going to change what I'm doing.  Especially since I've guacamole and salmon on the brain.  Okay it's near 8.  Time to get busy.

-later

     

A pleasant day.

     Morning.  It's about 5 in the A.M. right now.  Waiting to put on heat and take a shower.  It's Sunday yet again.  Funny how they come this time every week no?  Oh and coffee will not be here either.  To early to make it.  But I assure it will be enjoyed later.  Had a pretty good time yesterday.

     Woke up to wet and dreary skies.  I don't know why I was putting credence in a weather man.  I'm a general believer in dressing how it feels in the morning.  Which is often quite a mistake.  Anyway.  I decided to leave at about 8:30. Had to hit the bank.  

     Did my budget the other morning, so knew what I had to accomplish.  My IPhone was fully charged.  Headed Eastwardly when it hit me.  And since the mall was in that direction I went straight there.  Next to the mall is a little strip that has been there forever.  I headed for radio shack.

     I must admit that is one of my favorite stores.  It's almost like an old school 5 and dime.  You can generally find it there.  I asked the woman behind the counter for, "A wire to plug into my aux and to my smart phone so I could listen to it on my radio."

     She smiled and showed it to me.  Even with a personality.  It came in 3 or I think 5 inch length.  We laughed and chose the 3.

     I was and am happy as hell now.  I can now listen to podcasts in my car over my car stereo.  It is a sheer delight.  Especially since I devoured Tell Em Steve Dave.  It took years of hearing of them on SModcast for me to listen.

     I also added to the dang was going for a word that didn't fit, list the following.  The Nerdist.  Not something I can listen to at the gym, but not bad.  The tenderloins, one of the crew of Tell Em Steve Dave is on it.  

     Also one which I thought would be a guilty pleasure.  It is instead a little tedious.  Especially when I did some research on it.  

     I think back in the day I was a fan of Eve Arden.  I seem to remember a show called the Mothers in Law with Kate Ballard.  Anyway I found an old time radio show that started Eve called Our Miss Brooks.  I don't see myself listening to all of it.  It's cute, very 1950's.  And very tedious.  Apparently she never gets the guy.  We'll see.  I usually like most old time radio programs.

    So Eastward and onward I went.  The road dried and the clouds parted for me.  It was wonderful.  The air warmed, think it got into the 50's today.  It was just an enjoyable Saturday drive.  

     I felt I over shot my goal.  I asked Suri.  Well she couldn't quite understand me apparently.  She kept getting the name completely wrong.  So I went to the map.  Anyone who came along for the 5K entries can tell you this is a big step for me.  I hadn't reached it yet.  

     So onward.  Laughing along with the podcast, driving without much traffic.  Passed a few farms, some places to eat, other stuff.  Got onto the correct next road.  Passed a bunch of farms, lots with stuff to sell, it was getting on after all.  Must've been 10ish.  When I hit my first winery I rechecked.  Yup drove right by it.  Found it fairly easily, after I near drove past it again.

    I can see it being a local place and a place for tourists.  Wine enthusiasts, summer renters, people out for a drive.  The pies here are delicious.  I actually think the crust is so good that they must be using lard.  It's a twice a year habit so who gives a damn.

     The space inside is crowded and cramped.  And everyone is in there for pies.  Another good reason not to get there late in the day.  Can be quite claustrophobic.

     Heard 1 person placing an order for 10 pies, another picking up 5.  I just wanted 3.  2 apple and one peach and raspberry.  I think I was in time for the day old special.  What's that?

     The pie was made the previous day, so is a little cheaper.  Since 2 are frozen for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas, it matters not.  They are a treat to look forward to.

     I also snagged some cookies.  I'd seen them to late last year and had not gotten there early enough.  By the time I saw them I had to grab my pies and fight my way through the throngs of people.  Can get very crazy later in the day.

     Anyway, that was the highlight of my Saturday.  Did some other stuff.  Got a haircut, some cloth shopping.  Stuff like that there.  Can't wait to see what Sunday has in store.

-later.

Plans and stuff like that there.

     Top of the morning.  Got some real good sleep.  The other night I was up all night from 1 on.  Was beat to death last night.  Proud of myself though.  Came home, did what I had to do, had brother in law get dinner for them.  I didn't waiver and kept mine low sodium.

     Also what did help was I wrote down all the bills I have to pay.  Sad thing is, these are necessities.  But...but...but if I do it this way, the next pay check will be pure profit.  Minus house hold stuff.  Also going to send out the next round of $10 checks to the last hospital.  Remember kids, they can't take action against you as long as you pay something.

     Figure I've a budget of $15 a day until the next paycheck.  Expenses are already allocated, gas and bakery being the fixed ones.  And I don't normally spend even $10 a day M-F.  So we'll see how that goes.  

     Feeling good, a little anticipation about the drive East.  Think I said I'll take the more rural route.  Even that isn't so rural anymore.  But I think it will be fun.  Must get those holiday pies.  Weather is supposed to be nice too.  Have to buy some winter essentials.  Hair needs to be cut badly.  Have to say I'm always more positive when I write out a course of action.

     Still have to figure out lunch and dinner for myself today.  I can go a little exorbitant on one or the other.  Wow my cursor disappeared.  Can't afford another  spelling check now.  

     Yard work needs to be done as well. Course brother in law can't do it.  He may come out to see if I need help, but won't actually do it.

    Anyways, maybe I'll have an adventure to relate tomorrow.  Until then.

-later

The weekend is upon us!

     It's Friday.  Well the beginning of Friday.  Thought I'd see if I could put together a post of coherence.  Last night did help.  Managed to get some sleep between 3-4:30.  Long kind of complicated story, don't wish to discuss.  Have things I desperately wish to do this weekend.

     Of course part of the problem is finding the money.  Saturday plan on going out East for some pies.  If I can remember.  This will be the fascinating stuff I tried to record in my car the other day.  Now I need to hit the laundromat.  Shopping, I know I need some gloves.  Sneakers and boots would be good too.

     Think I"m looking forward to the pies.  Leave here early in the morning, round 7.  Take the back roads, so it will be just me and the left over drunks, trucks, and cops.  Should be fun.  Also for the Hell of it, I'm going to see what kind of lunatics have garage sales in November.  Not that brave though, should be high 50's low 60's.  Even still it's November.

     Need a haircut, hair dryer and such.  Oh and I think I've decided on the Xbox.  We'll see what this weekend holds though.  Need to get a second job.  Okay where were we going with this?

     Off next Thursday and Friday.  Dr. appointments.  Plus sisters chemo appointment and the appointment to get a port put in. Problem is brother in law expects me to take her.  That will effectively kill the last 2 days off I have this year.  Especially thanks to my past hospitalization in September.  

     Who said the first 100 years are the hardest.  They were right.

-later.

Annoyance.

     Well it's 3 in the morning and I'm pissed off.  I just don't know what to do or say.  Despicable is a word that comes to mind.  Pathetic.  Asinine.  Why come in here?  Just to vent a little.  My anger woke me up and will not let me rest.  And this is one of those posts I despise.

     I will not put words into what is pissing me off.  And may haps this brings me closer to understanding. Understanding?  When someone that blogs leaves for awhile.  Mentions things are to intense, crazy, personal.  So I will throw shadows.  Early readers can probably guess at the causation of this.  Let us not talk falsely now the hour is getting late.  Let's talk about what I did this morning.  Yes that is a little more light hearted. 

     Okay I had this great idea for calling an audible.  What's an audible?  A football term generally speaking, but we are not speaking about football.

     I decided to do some recording on the way to work.  Basic stuff, including how much I wanted to get done on the weekend.  Transcribe it like I did for a few entries over the summer.  I put the voice recorder on, IPod in the cup holder and talked about this and that on the way to work.

     Now I didn't say anything I unusually great.  Did however think it was a good idea.  Got to work and long story short after the treadmill I decided to listen to the recording.  Well.

     It was apparently 53 seconds long.  Already I knew that was off.  But I listened to all 53 seconds.  53 seconds of my car.  My voice wasn't even picked up.  Oh well.

     Thanks for reading, especially the regulars.  It's nigh on 3:30 and I feel I can tray to get some rest again.  Only been up since 2.

-later